"AT 3.43, or thereabouts on Wednesday afternoon, the head of a certain person came into contact with an inflated leather sphere, which in accordance with the laws of impact, rebounded, falling within a certain netted space near Manchester."
This quirky take on the greatest occasion in Bradford City's history formed part of the Bradford Weekly Telegraph's (or as it is known today, the Telegraph & Argus) report on the Bantams' 1911 FA Cup final replay win over Newcastle United.
The "head of a certain person" was that of City's captain Jimmy Speirs, who scored the only goal in the Old Trafford clash.
Newcastle were a celebrated side during the Edwardian era, famous for their silky style of play. The Weekly Telegraph therefore took great delight in their downfall.
In his post-match despatch, 'Adjutant' wrote: "Is clever footwork, deft dodging, pretty passing, and all that sort of thing any more football than a strong, robust, dashing, go-ahead style?"
These sentiments were echoed in a telegram sent to the 'Telegraph' by the MP for Central Bradford, Sir George Robertson.
He enthused: "The forwards and half backs played with the brilliance and impetuosity of the old-fashioned amateur cup teams, while the full backs and goal were as steady and deadly as the guards at Waterloo."
The cup, designed in Bradford by William Norman of Fattorini & Sons, returned to the city in an unbridled celebration.
The scenes were described in breathless terms by the 'Telegraph', which reported: "Was there ever such a crowd in Bradford? Fifty thousand? A hundred thousand? Who shall say?
"How shall one attempt to begin to think of describing it? Town Hall Square, teeming with humanity; Market Street one mass from end to end; Bridge Street worse than impassable - irresistible.
"It was an unparalleled popular demonstration, overwhelmingly, unforgettably terrific."
These scenes would have been unimaginable a decade previously, with City only playing their inaugural match in 1903. The paper called their game at Grimsby an "epoch-making day".
Rugby was the popular ball sport in Bradford at the time and the 'Telegraph' reported ahead of the match: "One scarcely ever expected to see anything else but the "handling" code in Worstedopolis.
"Twelve months ago the statement that a first-class Socker team would be seen in our midst shortly was received with ridicule."
The club had in fact run as Manningham Rugby Club from 1886 but abruptly changed code to association football 17 years later.
Their Division Two match at Grimsby on the opening day of the 1903/04 season marked the first ever occasion that a club had played its inaugural game in Football League competition.
The game itself saw the Bantams slip to a battling 2-0 defeat. They fell behind to an unfortunate opener, with the 'Telegraph' focusing on Grimsby's celebrations.
It wrote: "The "Pontoon Chorus" was at this point, of course, much in evidence, the cornet soloist excelling himself at this stroke of good luck."
City's efforts were praised by their Grimsby counterparts, with the paper reporting: "The consensus of opinion was that Bradford had got together a strong team, and one that with ordinary luck should do great things before the season was over."
"Great things" may have been an overestimation, but City won eight of 17 home games in their inaugural season to finish comfortably in mid-table.
A brave new era had begun and 115 years later, the City fans remain passionate, despite a relative lack of success.
In the same season as their 1911 Cup win, they achieved their highest ever league position, fifth in the old First Division.
They secured the Division Two title in 1908 and have won the Third Division twice, although their 1985 triumph was tainted by the Valley Parade fire disaster, where 56 spectators were killed on the day the team lifted the trophy.
The club spent two seasons in the Premier League, between 1999 and 2001, and they had a brief Intertoto Cup run in 2000, which was ended by Russian giants Zenit St Petersburg.
Finally, they had a successful 2012/13 season. They won promotion to League One and put together an extraordinary run to reach the League Cup final, where they lost to top-flight side Swansea City.
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