SIR – When millions were ready to celebrate the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee, did you have to be the elephant in the room and call it a farce, republican Max Hey! (Letters, May 31).

A monarchy is a merchantman which sails well, but will sometimes strike on a rock and go to the bottom; while a republic is a raft which would never sink but then your feet are always in the water!

D Rhodes, Croscombe Walk, Bradford