There is a theory that we Brits accept bad service because we’re too polite to speak out.
I think that’s a dated generalisation of the British reserve and we are actually a nation of complainers.
Don’t get me wrong; I indulge in a good moan as much as anyone. It’s healthy to offload stress with a whinge now and then – but there’s a difference between general moaning and being a serial complainer.
I know a couple of people who, whenever we go out for a meal, always pick fault. Bracing myself for the inevitable awkward moment when they dig their claws into an unfortunate waitress, I end up cringing, trying not to make eye contact with the poor soul.
Having been a waitress, I know what it’s like to face awkward diners so I make a point of being a pleasant one. Even if the service or food is particularly poor, you can still raise it in a polite way.
Complainers can be unbelievably rude. I once went on an all-expenses-paid overseas press trip and a couple of journalists in the group whinged constantly about everything, from the hotel breakfast to the castle we visited, even though they hadn’t spent a single euro.
I felt sorry for the poor tour guide who was desperately trying to please everyone.
I think it’s bad manners to complain, unless there’s really no alternative. I’ve stood in queues in shops and banks and tutted at the slow service, but I’d never dream of confronting staff about it.
People who complain for the sake of it lack empathy. Often it’s less about airing a grievance and more about trying to impress others with your high standards, regardless of hurting feelings along the way.
Maybe it’s to do with how you’re brought up. I never saw my parents cause a fuss in public; my dad doesn’t suffer fools but he’s fair and polite, and my mum always saw the good in people and simply wasn’t one of life’s complainers.
These days we’re practically encouraged to be amateur divas. Not an episode of Come Dine With Me goes by without a stream of barbed comments reducing someone to tears, then there’s X Factor and its withering put-downs.
A leading headteacher has slammed the TV talent show, claiming it promotes an ethos of ‘nastiness and negativity’ which is damaging to children.
If they think it’s acceptable to have a go at people in public, and put brutal honesty before self-control, today’s youngsters are going to become tomorrow’s mean-spirited, petty little Englanders.
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