Last week I visited a reminiscence group for people with dementia. Sitting among them, I felt a little intrusive and wasn’t sure I should be there.
With dementia being close to home – my mother has had it since she was in her fifties – I had to keep my emotions in check as people filed into the room, some a little apprehensive about leaving the husbands and wives who’d brought them along.
The group evoked memories and discussion through music. To read more about it, click here.
I needn’t have worried about feeling intrusive. By the time the second sing-along was under way I was aware of much happiness in that little circle.
One lady in particular, shaking a tamborine and beaming, reminded me of my mum in the early stage of her dementia. As someone with a lifelong love of singing, she would’ve enjoyed music therapy but, looking back, the daycare available a decade or so ago was poor in comparison.
She’s now bedbound, but when she was able to leave the house for daycare it largely involved being slumped in a wheelchair in front of a TV. Whenever she fell over, which she did frequently, the centre manager would call my dad asking him to pick her up off the floor – despite the fact that the daycare was meant to be giving him respite!
Daycare has improved over the years, but still lacks adequate funding. The memory group I visited may only last another few weeks unless it receives more cash. This would hit not just the group hard – but also their carers, who find support and solace among each other.
There are around 800,000 people diagnosed with dementia in the UK, and that figure will grow as people live longer and our ageing population expands.
Daycare is vital, not just in terms of dignity and quality of life for dementia patients, but also for their carers. Caring for a loved one in the home is physically and emotionally draining, and can be very isolating. On top of this comes financial hardship.
A Carers UK inquiry reveals that, despite a rapid increase in home care, carers will be hit by a £1 billion cut in benefits and allowances, leaving them facing a loss of savings, risk of debt, mortgage and rent arrears and rising bills for things like additional heating, water use, petrol and bought-in home care.
I recently spoke to an elderly man who cares for his wife at home. Aged 89, he told me he could do with some care too. “Who cares for the carers?” he said, and I heard a flicker of desperation in his voice. Who indeed?
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