As men grow into old age they often go through life-changing experiences, including bereavement.

The loss of a wife or partner can leave older men feeling vulnerable, isolated and unable to cope with domestic tasks.

Following consultation with agencies such as Age UK, MIND and GPs, Eccleshill Mechanics Institute identified a gap in provision of services for older men, so teamed up with Bradford District NHS project Health on the Streets to set up a men’s support service.

Now this is being developed with an initiative called Men@EccyMeccy, supported for 18 months with £56,619 Silver Dreams lottery funding.

Sessions started this week at Eccleshill Mechanics Institute. Project manager Simon Loveitt, who is also community minister at Eccleshill United Reformed Church, said the aim was to help older men address issues they are experiencing or facing, and equip them with the skills and confidence to help themselves.

“One of the biggest life-changing events men can experience is bereavement. Caring for a partner who is ill is a form of bereavement too, because although they are still there physically they have become a dependent,” says Simon.

“Such life-changing experiences often result in poor physical health, poor diet and the inability to cope around the house. Local health data has confirmed that physical and mental health can deteriorate following bereavement or loneliness.

“For many men, their partners will have done most of the caring, as well as things like cooking, cleaning and using the washing machine. With limited experience of running the domestic side of life, men often can’t cope with this alone, especially if they have few support networks.”

Social skills can deteriorate too. Simon says men of retirement age are often put off from attending social centres because they think the clientele will be mostly women, and they’ll find it difficult to engage in conversation or activities.

Working with Age UK, MIND, CNet, NHS case managers and GP practice managers, the team found that areas of Bradford which are predominantly working-class – where men use work to define their role and develop their social networks – were particularly lacking in appropriate services for older men.

“We consulted with older people, faith groups and key workers in the health and voluntary sector, and found there is very little support for men of this generation” says Simon. “We saw the need for a men’s group offering friendship and support.”

Some of the responses from older men during consultation were: “I’m happy to care for the wife, but normal social life goes out of the window. Been having a really difficult time having to make decisions about my wife’s future care.”

“Caring has left me tired, frustrated and with little patience.”

“I feel angry and have struggled with difficult feelings. Very lonely and anxious.”

This was from a man who lost his wife and suffered a heart attack two weeks after her death.

Men@EccyMeccy offers a chance for men to meet informally at regular sessions, where they will be encouraged to join appropriate activities and groups meeting their needs. As well as providing support and a chance to socialise, the project helps men deal with skills such as cooking and using domestic appliances, and builds up confidence and self-esteem.

Men can refer themselves, or be referred by agencies following experiences such as bereavement.

With established partnerships and links with health services, the project will provide health professionals and referrals to other services if required.

The lottery cash has funded part-time project leader Jonathan Thelwell, who will be running Men@EccyMeccy sessions, targeting Eccleshill and east Bradford.

“There will be a drop-in facility, with issue-based discussions, help and support,” says Simon. “The next stage will be for these men to access volunteering opportunities such as befriending, skill-sharing and providing advocacy for other older people. This way they are helping not just themselves, but other older people.”

Volunteering is seen as an important stage in the process, not only in allowing men to become actively involved in their community, but also in highlighting the skills and knowledge that older people can contribute.

Simon hopes to bid for further funding, to take Men@ EccyMeccy into the future.

  • For more information, ring (01274) 636228.