David Graham "never puts his hand in his pocket" at the bar.
Chris Brandon has the "worst dress sense in the world".
The pair are close pals so it's no surprise when the good-natured insults start flying.
They are such good friends, Graham and Brandon even went on a lads' holiday together in the summer.
Now, having shared a hotel room in Marbella, they will be sharing the Valley Parade pitch on Saturday - but very much on opposite sides of the great West Yorkshire divide.
The only talking point is points, not postcards. While Graham leads the City attack into the lunch-time showdown, Brandon is pushing for a recall to the Huddersfield midfield.
"It will be the first time we've played against each other, so it's going to be interesting," said Graham.
"I've obviously played with Chris at Torquay and Huddersfield but never against him, apart from in training.
"It should be good fun but there's going to be a lot of stick flying around - and hopefully I'll have the bragging rights afterwards."
But Brandon is never short of a few words, particularly when it comes to talking about his former team-mate.
"David's a really down to earth and genuine guy," he said. "But he's very tight when it comes to buying a beer. He is Scottish, though, and you know what people say "I can't believe he can have a go about my gear. You should see some of the things he was wearing on holiday.
"He thinks I'm losing my hair and reckons I'm jealous of his highlights but you've got to be joking. And no, I'm not jealous because I'm shorter than him either.
"If anything, I bet he wishes he had a six-pack like mine. I've seen him looking at me in the mirror on holiday and I know what he's thinking!
"His banter is terrible - you should hear him trying to chat someone up. We were in the same room in Marbella but he disappeared for a couple of days. He must have been looking at the sights.
"We all had a good laugh watching him and I don't think anyone can understand his accent anyway."
But beneath the jibes, there is a mutual respect as the clock ticks towards the most anticipated fixture on the City calendar.
Graham played 15 times on loan for Town last term, scoring nine goals, and Brandon admitted: "I was a bit gutted to lose him. To be honest, we could probably do with him now.
"We've known each other since our Torquay days. He came in from Scotland and you could see straight away that he was a class player who will always get you goals.
"We lost contact when I moved back up here but I was made up when David came to Huddersfield. Again, he got a lot of goals and he seems to be doing well again at Bradford.
"I think he can play at a higher level and I don't know what's gone wrong with Sheffield Wednesday - but their loss is very much Bradford's gain."
Graham, who has notched three goals for City so far, said: "Apart from his bad clothes, Chris is a good lad and a very quick player.
"It will be strange being up against him, and also seeing a lot of the team-mates I played with last season, but I'm really looking forward to it and the atmosphere should be great.
"Huddersfield have had a slow start but they are starting to come good, especially away from home. They're a good team and we will have to be at our best."
Former Yorkshire Martyrs pupil Brandon is back to full fitness in the nick of time after missing nine games with an ankle injury.
He came off the bench against Bournemouth on Saturday and is desperate to force his way back into the starting line-up for the big one.
The occasion will once again stretch family loyalties as his brother is an avid Bantams fan. Huddersfield won 2-1 at Valley Parade a year ago and he hopes to leave the rest of the Brandon clan disappointed once again.
"It's not going to be easy, because Bradford are going really well, but form usually goes out the window in a local derby," said Brandon.
"There's going to be a lot there and I hope it's exciting for the fans. Often they aren't the best of games because after all the talk and the hype; the match itself is a bit of an anti-climax."
Whatever the outcome on Saturday, you can guarantee the good-natured war of words is set to run and run long after the final whistle.
Comments: Our rules
We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused.
Please report any comments that break our rules.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article