Simon Parker column

I had a nervous scan of the West Lancashire police reports on Thursday morning.

Just wanted to check there was no mention of a break-in at, err, any professional football clubs.

Well, at Preston North End to be exact.

You see, if there had been anything nicked from Deepdale I’d have felt a tinge responsible.

Yep, bang me to rights, I would have been the inside man who let the burglars in. Sort of.

The problem was that after the lights went out on City’s brave Youth Cup campaign, they were also switched off in the stand.

Unfortunately the press box is right at the back in the seats that time forgot. So I found myself in the company of club official Mark Harrison and a dark, otherwise empty stadium.

Having negotiated our way down steps that were already starting to freeze from the sub-zero temperature, we encountered our first stumbling block. The shutters on the stairwell had been pulled right down.

A few moments of heaving, pulling and limbo-ing later and we’d squeezed our way through to the inner offices.

The corridor lights offered a false sense of security. Halfway down the two flights of stone steps, we were plunged into complete darkness again.

Never mind, at least the main entrance was in sight. Well, as much as you could see through the gloom anyway.

Having gingerly arrived at the ground floor, the great outdoors beckoned. We could even spot signs of life huddled scraping off the ice in the car park outside.

Fresh air was just an automatic door away. You’ve guessed it, some bright spark had locked the entrance for the night.

As panic began to well up, we retraced our steps and found another glass entrance. Locked again.

Luckily, just before we prepared to make our own emergency exit by launching the laptops through the window, we spotted the door catch.

One click later and we proceeded to stroll out without a care in the world.

There was just one nagging doubt, however. Because the lock was on the inside, there was no way of securing the door again.

The stewards had long gone home. So, barring a final late-night security check from any staff straggler, Preston’s grandly-refurbished home was reliant on the good will of the local criminal fraternity to leave it that way.

I’m sure everything was fine.

At least I haven’t had the knock on the door yet to enquire about any tell-tale finger prints on the lock …