Devilishly dull misadventure

Nicolas Cage is evidently an actor who prizes quantity over quality.

Since the beginning of 2000, he has released 27 films. If he was a little more selective with his roles, perhaps we wouldn’t have to suffer hokum such as this swords-and-sorcery yarn which uses the bloodshed and religious fervour of the 14th century Crusades as a backdrop to a battle of wits between two knights and a girl accused of witchcraft.

Their task: To deliver the demonic damsel to the church for cleansing. Our task: To stay awake.

Season Of The Witch lacks suspense or horror, steadily whittling down the cast through a series of trials such as a pack of ravenous wolves and a rotting rope bridge.

Cage and Perlman try to have fun with their characters, but the script woefully short-changes both them and us.

Supporting cast inhabit their lifeless, two-dimensional characters purely as potential victims for the forces of darkness, while the climatic showdown is completely laughable because an army of reanimated corpses miraculously doubles in number in the blink of a computer-generated eye to provide a sterner test of our heroes’ mettle.

Behold the black magic of the movies.