STEP UP 3D
(12A, 107 mins)
Two stars
Starring Rick Malambri, Adam G Sevani, Sharni Vinson, Alyson Stoner, Keith Stallworth, Joe Slaughter, Cheryl Alessio
Anything StreetDance 3D can do, Step Up 3D can apparently do better.

Director Jon Chu’s glossy sequel goes for broke, incorporating intricate and witty choreography with special effects and outrageous camera angles.

Judged purely on its fancy footwork and synchronised moves, Step Up 3D is the best dance film of the year, and the third film in the series takes full advantage of the eye-popping format – every set-piece has been crafted so that dancers’ limbs emerge from the screen.

However, for all of the head spins, gravity-defying somersaults and body-popping, the third instalment is also one of the worst films of the year based on the script and performances.

The screenplay reeks of cliches and sappy sentiment, and if there was a plausible line of dialogue, the cast wouldn’t be able to deliver it convincingly anyway.

Almost without exception, the dancers possess no acting ability and say their lines in lifeless monotone as if they have yet to fully grasp the English language.

Luke (Malambri) is an aspiring film-maker, who owns a warehouse in New York City called The Vault, where young dancers live together and hone their craft, performing as The Pirates.

Rent on the property is months in arrears and unless Luke can find the balance quickly, dancer Julian (Slaughter) from rival troupe The Samurai will buy the warehouse at auction.

As luck would have it, the World Jam is just weeks away with a first prize of $100,000.

Luke gathers together his troops and adds NYU freshman Moose (Sevani) and sex bomb Natalie (Vinson) to the mix, while secretly cutting together a documentary about how dance has changed these young people’s lives.

Moose is the Pirates’ secret weapon but his allegiances are torn between his passion to dance and spending time with best friend Camille (Stoner).

“You’re BFAB – born from a boombox!” Luke assures Moose, but when it comes to the crunch, there is one thing that Moose loves more than dancing...

Step Up 3D has all the right moves but none of the right words.

We weep tears of unintentional laughter at Luke and Natalie’s clunky romance and continue to smirk as best friend Jacob (Stallworth) dispenses nuggets of wisdom.

Malambri strips off to prove his is just a pretty face while Vinson wrings tears out of nowhere as she tries to explain: “That person who I was only with you... that’s who I am.”

Scenes involving Sevani and Stoner are the most credible and they share the film’s best dance sequence: an expressive duet to Frank Sinatra’s I Won’t Dance, Don’t Ask Me, captured in a breathtaking single take.

For their co-stars, it’s more a case of I Can’t Act, So Don’t Ask Me