A family get-together does not go as planned at Keighley Playhouse this month as long-hidden truths tumble out.
Oscar-winning cinematographer Richard believes The Garden Party has been called simply to celebrate his 70th birthday.
Then his son Ben brings his real father Brice, who dumped mum Jan as a teenager, to the gathering.
Poor Richard is ultra-polite, spineless and broke following the collapse of his latest movie deal.
Meanwhile Jan has sold Richard's treasured collection of movie star photographs to finance repairs to a leaky roof.
The rest of the family also row over their secrets in Jimmie Chin and Hazel Wyld's play running January 23-28.
Book tickets for the 7.30pm performances by phoning 0845 1267859 (office hours) or 01535 604764 (weekday evenings).
n A work commissioned by the Royal Armouries to commemorate the millennium is revived this month by Keighley Vocal Union.
The choir begins its centenary year by performing Karl Jenkins' The Armed Man, a mass for peace, at Keighley Shared Church.
The singers, accompanied by Bradford Chamber Orchestra, will also perform Mozart's Requiem at the concert in aid of Manorlands.
Jenkins was inspired by L'Homme Arme, a song written in the mid-1400s at the court of Charles the Bold of Burgundy.
He combined within the mass's framework a variety of poetry, prose and musical styles reflecting modern multi-cultural society.
Included are military drums, the Muslim call to prayers, the Agnus Dei, the Indian epic Mahabharata, plainsong from the Psalms, tribal music, and a poem about the horrors of the atom bomb attack on Hiroshima.
The Vocal Union performs its 100th birthday party concert on March 18 at Aireville School, Skipton, with Steeton Male Voice Choir and the Holme Singers. The Armed Man and Requiem is on January 28 at 7.15pm. Tickets cost £10 by phoning 01535 632296.
n Children from an inner city comprehensive accidentally go to spy training academy in a Keighley youth theatre's first show.
They swap smoking and wearing hoodies for surveillance and stun guns in the musical comedy-drama Spies.
The 18 members of the new Kydz group will perform famous James Bond songs as well as foiling a plot to kidnap the Prime Minister.
Kydz, the successor to long-established youth theatre HYT, performs Spies on March 2-4 at the former Bronte Middle School.
Tickets will go on sale later this month.
n Several minor parts have still to be cast in Sutton Amateurs' April 5-8 production of musical Carousel. Anyone interested should attend Friday chorus rehearsals at 7.30 pm in the Amateurs' hut behind Londis Store, Main Street, Sutton, or phone 01535 662944.
n Moscow City Ballet steps out with two Tchaikovsky ballets to begin the new season at the Victoria Theatre in Halifax.
Swan Lake is presented on Monday while Sleeping Beauty is performed on Tuesday and Wednesday, all at 7.30pm.
Coming up is Moscow Ballet La Classique with Coppelia (March 18) and the Chisinau National Opera with Puccini's La Boheme (April 2).
The European Union Chamber Orchestra performs Schubert, Beethoven and Mozart (February 12) and Halifax Symphony Orchestra presents Wagner, Grieg and Saint-Saens' Organ Symphony (25).
Ever-popular professional musical Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat is at Halifax for the first time on March 6-11.
Titanic the Musical, which won five Broadway awards for its story of passengers' hopes and dreams, is performed by Halifax Amateurs on March 28-April 1.
Children's shows are Sooty (February 5, 2.30pm), Adventures of Pinocchio (March 19, 2pm) and Rudyard Kipling's Jungle Book (May 2-6).
Magic of the Musicals stars Marti Webb and Wayne Sleep on February 22 while Simply Ballroom feature 16 international dance champions on April 6. Other tributes are Eva Cassidy Story (February 11), ThinkFloyd (March 4), Stayin' Alive The Australian Bee Gees (April 7), B'Eagles and Mercury (8), Sing-a-long-a Abba (12), Sing-a long-a Elvis (13) and Solid Silver 60s (29).
Also appearing are soul star Alexander O'Neal (February 21), comedian Patrick McGuinness (March 2), cricketer Freddie Trueman (3), singer Elkie Brooks (April 16), the Blues Band (27), Derren Brown (May 16) and Ken Dodd (June 3).
Book tickets at Keighley Information Centre on Cooke Street or phone 01422 351158.
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