Once again, new research has revealed what we knew all along; as we grow older time appears to pass more quickly. This startling piece of information was deduced by scientists in America who conducted complicated experiments on groups of pensioners, but could have much more easily been found out by eating a Cornetto, gossiping with friends and watching Coronation Street. In all these instances time flies.
However, consider those monumentally important stages of your life: waiting for exam results, your wedding day, the birth of your first child, the next episode of Coronation Street (especially the one featuring the verdict on Deirdre Rachid). These nail-biting moments seem to be freeze-framed and come after an eternity of endurance.
When you're young, tomorrow seems so far away, anyone over the age of 12 is decrepit and anyone older than that should be stashed away in a rest home somewhere. You can't think in terms of the future because it only happens to the wrinkly, infirm and people who watch Coronation Street.
As a society we are governed by time to an alarming degree. "Half a mo!", "Give us a sec", "Just a minute" are part of our vocabulary as we rush to get up in time for school, work, baby, The Big Breakfast. It is always time for something - time for tea, time for a chat, time for Teletubbies. Top scientist Stephen Hawking wrote A Brief History of Time, writer and broadcaster Melvyn Bragg wrote A Time to Dance, and someone else wrote A Time to Cry, and these are to be followed by my own forthcoming guide to modern living called A Time to Have a Nervous Breakdown written with the help of Toddler: credit where it is due, without whom a nervous breakdown would not have been possible.
People rush hither and thither, juggling commitments at home and work, mumbling: "I'd love to try something like abseiling/bungee jumping/line dancing and hey, why not be really adventurous and try something totally different like sleep but I haven't got time".
Seriously though, where does time go? One minute the sun is coming up and you've planned a day full of mind-stretching, brain-enhancing activity, and the next it's time for bed and you haven't done a thing. It was also a little untimely when the clocks went forward last weekend - we need more time, not less.
When it comes to time-keeping in our culture some of us are extremely punctual but others can be, let's say, a little more laid back. People phone to say they are "popping over in half an hour" but this roughly translates to "I'll put in an appearance in the next few days". I am guilty of this approach occasionally myself, and I can't even blame Toddler for this as he is often ready and waiting by the door, coat and bobbly hat on, calling "Mummy, come on," in a plaintive voice, while I am lying face down in a bowl of Frosties.
I start to explain that I am not a morning person but realise that I haven't got time. Time flies, and so must we. After all, we've got to be back in time for Coronation Street...
Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.
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