It was deeply sad to read extracts of Professor John Bayley's account of his wife's illness. His wife is the much-respected novelist Iris Murdoch, and the illness which has taken such an appalling hold of her is Alzheimer's Disease.
This intelligent, gifted woman is now "lost" - as are so very many other people - to this terrifying disease, which gradually steals away personality, control and awareness.
Fear of it haunts most of us as we grow older. Every forgetful episode - the name of an old friend proving suddenly elusive, the clumsy use of a wrong word, the forgotten appointment - rings an alarm bell.
It is a disease which affects so many people. Those who suffer from it directly are only a small proportion of those whose lives are ravaged by it. Family and friends must try to cope as the person they once lived with and loved with, and argued with and shared jokes with, becomes a helpless stranger - and sometimes an aggressive stranger at that.
Yet though so many people fear Alzheimer's, there seems to be a reluctance to talk about it. Nor is it a fashionable cause when it comes to fund-raising for research into it.
So it's encouraging that someone like John Bayley is prepared to use his gifts as a writer to raise the profile of it - and that Sir Cliff Richard is able to reveal to the world that his mother, too, is suffering from dementia and is now having to be cared for in a home.
Cliff's experience demonstrates that however rich you are, however blessed with talent and good looks, however apparently immune to the passage of time, your life can still be blighted by this degenerating disease of the brain.
The more people in the public eye who step forward to relate the way it has touched them, the greater the chance of the right resources being provided to find an effective way of fighting it.
CARE OF older people in the community can be difficult to understand because of the split responsibility between the health and welfare services. Which looks after what? And which pays for what? It's isn't always easy to know, and you can bet that the one will be forever trying to pass the buck - and the bill - on to the other.
People can find themselves being shunted about between the two and in the end not get the help they need and deserve.
So there has to be at least a cautious cheer for news of a plan to combine the two together with pooled budgets and provide "one-stop" services for older people living in their own homes.
Alan Milburn, the health minister, said: "Elderly people are often intimidated by a labyrinth of services in a system that is extremely complex."
Under the plan, this umbrella authority would bring together services such as chiropody and physiotherapy (currently classed as health) with domestic help and meals on wheels (social services).
Mr Milburn admitted that the move will save the Government money. That's no doubt why it's decided to go ahead with it. But if the outcome is better services and people living in their own homes having their lives made easier and more comfortable, I suppose we shouldn't grumble about the motive, should we?
WHEN YOU get round to reading this, the residents of Priestley Towers could be in an exhausted state. We will just have spent the weekend (three days and two nights) caring for eight-month-old grandson Sam to give his parents a break.
There are some who have told us we are heroes - or, rather, a hero and a heroine - to volunteer for such a job. Sam, you see, has recently become mobile. By a mixture of rolling and crawling, he can make his way around the room. Nothing is safe.
However, we will not have spent the last three days caring for Sam at Priestley Towers and now be contemplating the ruins. We will have spent it at his home instead. We're not daft.
I'll let you know next Tuesday how we got on.
I Don't Believe It!
Buying and selling a house is a nightmare. The experience has certainly given Michael Jowett, of Bingley, plenty to gripe about. Over to you, Michael.
"My wife and I are suffering from 'house-selling stress syndrome'. At the end of June we 'sold' our house to a Mr & Mrs A, which event was followed by the usual round of mortgage applications and various surveys. At the same time, late June, we agreed to purchase another house from a Mrs B which was again followed by mortgage applications and surveys with their related costs.
"All was going well until the last week of August when contracts were due to be exchanged. Mr & Mrs A changed their minds and withdrew from the purchase, resulting in our necessary withdrawal from the arrangement with Mrs B. No reason was given by Mr & Mrs A for their change of mind.
"One week later, we were fortunate enough to 'sell' our house again, this time to Mr & Mrs C who had 'sold' their house six weeks earlier to Person(s) D. We were able to rescue our purchase from Mrs B. Again all went wrong when Person(s) D changed their minds concerning the purchase of Mr & Mrs C's house resulting in the second withdrawal from our proposed purchase.
"We are still trying to find a genuine buyer for our house, as is Mrs B. A genuine buyer is, of course, one who intends to complete the verbal agreement and not one who apparently does not worry if he/she plays havoc with the lives and finances of countless other people in the chain.
"The way in which houses in England are sold is long overdue for a review. The procedure is loaded in favour of the buyer, with the seller apparently not having any rights. There must be many people who have similar, and worse, stories to relate. I suggest that all of us write to our Member of Parliament to demand a review and change to the law."
That sounds a good idea, Michael. As far as I understand it, from a second cousin of Mrs Mildew's who lives just outside Arbroath (he sends us a "smokie" by post every Christmas, and we'd rather he didn't), the law in Scotland is much more binding on the buyer. Once you've agreed to purchase a property, you have to go through with it - unless, of course, you can persuade the seller to be totally reasonable and release you from the verbal contract.
That encourages people to think very, very carefully before they put in a firm offer. Otherwise, they could easily find themselves saddled with a house they don't really want.
Have you a gripe you'd like to share with Who's Counting? readers? It can be serious or just plain daft. If you have, drop a line to me, Hector Mildew, c/o Newsroom, T&A, Hall Ings, Bradford BD1 1JR, email me or leave any messages for me with Mike Priestley on (44) 0 1274 729511.
Yours Expectantly,
Hector Mildew
Enjoy Mike Priestley's Yorkshire Walks
Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.
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