At the risk of sounding like one of the contributors to Hector Mildew's column, I have a major complaint to make. Why are the directions on jars and packets of baby food printed in such small type? Parents might be able to cope, with their young eyesight. But what about grandparents?

It's generally accepted that most people's eyesight starts to go off in the early 40s. That's the age at which we start to hold reading material at arm's length to get the words into focus. The reason, I was once told, is that round about the middle years the eye muscles get a bit lazy. They don't adjust as easily as they once did to items held close to them.

Most of us can still pick out individual trees on far horizons, and cope well enough with the middle distance. It's from about two feet away that things start to get fuzzy. Forcing the eyes to focus can be quite a strain, and isn't always successful. That's when you have to give in and acquire some reading glasses. There's no shame in it. It doesn't mean that you're over the hill. It's just one of the facts of life.

And then, the first time you look in the mirror, you discover one of the unsettling side-effects of putting on a pair of spectacles: that whereas before you have been youthful perfection in soft focus, in an instant you have acquired lots of lines on your face, hairs sprouting down your nostrils, and eyebrows like a pair of tangled thickets. And it's even worse for men.

But back to the baby-food labels. They gave us no end of trouble last week, during the few days we were in charge of grandson Sam to give his parents a break. They're printed in such small type that only the youngest and sharpest of eyes can cope with them.

We peered at them through reading glasses, bi-focals, contact lenses, contact lenses plus reading glasses.... We carried them out into the garden to see if the sunlight made things any easier. We regretted that the magnifying glass we keep at our home for emergencies like these hadn't gone with us to Sam's, where we were doing our weekend baby-sitting stint.

We got by, just. But it would be nice if the people who design the packaging for these items would realise that grandparents often find themselves caring for grandchildren, and took their dimming eyesight into consideration.

Labels apart, we survived the weekend quite well. It was a pleasure to spend whole days with our eight-month-old grandson instead of the usual few hours.

It was good fun, even though the agenda was set by his meal times and, even more importantly, his sleep times - because young Sam is not a happy bunny if he doesn't get his sleep.

And if he wakes from that sleep in the middle of the night for any reason, he is very unhappy indeed. One o'clock in the morning is no time to spend an hour trying to coax a very tired little boy back to sleep when he's fighting against it as hard and as noisily as he can, it not being in his nature to give in.

Which is why we were there, of course - to give his parents a break from these nocturnal traumas, safe in the comforting knowledge that at the end of the weekend we would be handing back the responsibility and coming home to our uninterrupted nights.

Speaking of which...Lyricist Tim Rice had better make the most of his own uninterrupted nights over the next few months. Apparently he is due to become a father again, at the age of 53. The woman expecting his third child (he already has a daughter aged 23 and a son of 21) is 28-year-old Nell Sully, an artist who has become his constant companion.

The very best of luck to him, say I. After a weekend with Sam, I can say without any doubt that being a grandfather helps a 54-year-old to feel young. But being a new father at 53? Well, rather him than me.

I Don't Believe It!

There's a multiple moan this week from reader Sylvia Mason, whose gripes concern the packaging of many everyday items.

"They seem designed to cause the maximum inconvenience," says Sylvia. "For example, why do they...

l Always put shampoo in tall, thin bottles, so that when your eyes are full of water you knock it over?

l Put a separate sticker, sometimes two, on every single apple?

l Fold multi-packs of items such as tights all together, so you can't get one out without messing up the lot?

l Print cooking instructions for fresh foods on the back of the label, so you have to open the pack to read it?

l Provide serrated edges that cut fingers easily but can't tear kitchen foil?

l Put 'easy open' ring pulls on tins of food that require the strength of Geoff Capes to open?

l Stick price tickets on items which either won't come off at all or do so in about 15 separate little pieces?" And that isn't all. Sylvia continues: "Then there's all these packets that say 'Tear here' and ten minutes later you have to fetch the scissors, and all those things that fall out of magazines when you pick them up, etc etc..."

Well, that's a real old package of complaints. My own big grumble in that department was milk cartons, which I could never open without splashing milk all over the place.

Then they invented little spouts with screw-off caps, which made opening the cartons a lot easier. However...

When they go one stage further and make those spouts pour properly instead of dribbling down the side of the cartoon, we'll put out the flags at Mildew Mansions to celebrate.

If you have a gripe, don't keep it to yourself. Share it with other Who's Counting? readers. Drop a line to me, Hector Mildew, c/o Newsroom, T&A, Hall Ings, Bradford BD1 1JR, or leave any message for me with Mike Priestley on 01274 729511.

If you have a gripe about anything, drop a line to me, Hector Mildew, c/o Newsroom, T&A, Hall Ings, Bradford BD1 1JR, email me or leave any messages for me with Mike Priestley on (44) 0 1274 729511.

Yours Expectantly,

Hector Mildew

Enjoy Mike Priestley's Yorkshire Walks

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