Five pairs of knickers every two years? Six pairs of tights? Yes, I could easily survive in present-day Russia.

This number of undergarments is what the largely-male Russian government, in attempting to tackle the country's enormous economic problems, has decided that a woman can manage with.

Very generous, I say, having only this morning rooted through my knicker drawer to find a mere three pairs of grey - formerly white - briefs I bought the week the Gulf War began. I clearly remember the shopping trip because I seriously wondered why I was buying new underwear when a potential third world war was looming.

As for the six pairs of tights - well, for me that's no problem. Mine are the thick black variety which are designed to give good service for at least three decades.

And if they do wear out, there's always the wartime remedy of tea stain and an eyebrow pencil up the back of the leg. It works for me every time.

Now the Russian government's guideline of two bras every three years is way too generous. I buy a new car more often than I buy a bra. In fact, I buy one so infrequently that I'm forced to steer clear of the under-wired variety to avoid the embarrassment of metal fatigue.

It's the one item of clothing I hate buying. I never know what size, fastening or support is best for me. I once had a special fitting at M&S but ended up with some front-fastening monstrosity that feels - yes, I still persevere with it (too nervous to buy another) - like a Victorian implement of torture.

Two bras every three years is way too many. Obviously those parliamentarians are like men the world over - striving to protect their interests.

It's a different story with outer clothing - Russian females should be able to manage with just one dress and one skirt every five years.

Now, unlike some women, I don't wear a different outfit every day, and I'll admit to wearing the same skirt every day for a couple of weeks. But five years?

I very much doubt whether my husband would notice - I could walk into our living room in a pair of waders and a see-through basque without catching his eye - but I'm sure my colleagues would have the odd snigger. I've taken plenty of ribbing for the 365-days-a-year black tights - not the same pair, I can assure you.

And one dress every five years - it's hard to comprehend, in a world of clothing allowances (I keep hoping the T&A will increase my annual £3.13p, which this year netted me a lovely pair of ankle socks and a floral shower cap), personal shoppers, and walk-in wardrobes, that women should be living like this.

The question I would like to know the answer to is what about Russian men? If they're anything like British fellas, they won't need guidelines on how to keep a spartan wardrobe - after all, if it wasn't for mums, wives and girlfriends most of them would still be wearing in their school uniform.

I reckon one pair of underpants, one vest, a shirt, trousers and a pair of odd socks every 20 years is about right.

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.