ASK anyone in Ilkley to nominate the world's kindest benefactor at the moment and I suspect Jesus, Ghandi, and even Booths supermarket will be pushed out of place by Crest Homes.

The plan to develop the Ilkley College campus is being accompanied by the slickest public relations exercise we have witnessed as the company seeks to win friends in every corner of the town.

As a development strategy it looks like a

winner, but the production of glossy brochures, video film and donations

to various local bodies must be costing a

fortune.

Around 800 people living around the college site are to receive a questionnaire asking for their views about the development.

Studying the questionnaire it strikes me that the answers are so blindingly obvious I could fill them all in myself and save Crest Homes a fortune in postage.

There is a set of boxes where people can tick whether they agree or disagree with the printed statements.

Question One: 'Retaining open spaces and original trees on the site is a good feature of the plan.' Are they really expecting people to reply in the negative?

I would be interested to know just how many perverse Ilkley residents living near the college would just love to see all the open spaces and trees make way for concrete and bricks.

Question Two: 'Natural stone for the houses must be used in this part of Ilkley.' I'll bet loads of people are going to strongly contend this statement.

I can hear them clamouring already: "We want red brick, plastic boulders, asbestos,

concrete and wooden slats."

Question Three: 'A new development of family homes will mean more prosperity for the town.' Of course, especially if the family homes in question are very expensive, attracting lots of rich people.

Question Four: 'There will still be an attractive view from the moor to the town.' I tend to think walkers make the effort to get on top of the moor because they are fed up of looking at the town.

Question Five: 'Cleaning and restoring Wells House is vital for the town's heritage appeal.' They must be anticipating a large local lobby wanting the building left dirty and dilapidated.

Question Six: 'The present 1960s campus buildings are an eyesore and their removal would enhance Ilkley.' 'Removal' is a good idea but 'replacement' with houses is what is

actually being proposed, albeit with trees and open spaces.

Question Seven: 'The setting of the site will be greatly improved with the pond restoration and revival of the area.' I imagine only the present pond life, completely unaware of the massive upheaval on the horizon, could

disagree with this one.

So what we have is a set of questions which will produce a set of answers in the

affirmative.

They could have added a few more in the same vein such as:

A massive housing complex at the former Ilkley college campus would be much preferable to a nuclear power plant operated by members of the Iraqi Republican Guard. Do you strongly agree or disagree?

Emptying bins in the area will make it look a lot nicer than spreading household rubbish over the moors. Is there anyone against this?

The fact that Bradford and Ilkley Community College Corporation sold off a vital and much-loved community resource for a massive fee as yet to be revealed is not the fault of Crest Homes.

But it seems they are not only content to make a handsome profit on the deal, they also want us to love them.

Any housing development on the site would be closely scrutinised by profession planners at Bradford Council, ensuring the the kind of homes built there will have to comply to many restrictions and conditions.

From local reaction so far, no doubt soon to be backed up by the findings of the questionnaire, officers must fear that when the actual planning application arrives, any negative reaction would see them driven out of town by the rest of us.

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.