Juvenile delinquents, fats kids, now school-leavers with no prospects. Who will be next in line for summer camp - children who won't eat their greens?
As I recall, that expensive safari trip to Africa didn't do Burglar Boy, Break-In Boy, or whatever the lucky tearaway was called a scrap of good. In fact, quite the opposite - he was in trouble again within months of his return. And his case was by no means the only one.
Fat camps may help to shift weight temporarily - but as a recent TV documentary proved, the pounds are back on within days of the kids arriving home.
Now it's the turn of school leavers to be given a good time in the fresh air in the hope that it will put them on the road to success.
It's bound to be another waste of money. The concept is fine but, as usual, the group being targeted will not appreciate the experience.
However, there are some who would. Not that anyone is likely to listen to me, but I believe the following people should be on the receiving end of special, summer holidays, particularly if they are free:
All parents with children still living at home.
Most of us never get the chance to break away from the drudgerous round of cooking, washing and cleaning, and, unless we are very lucky on the grandparent front, we never get time to ourselves. It's a known fact that relationships suffer as a result. A holiday with childcare thrown in would send the divorce rate plummeting and leave fewer mixed-up kids with warring parents. My husband wouldn't go a bundle on orienteering - he struggles to find his way home from work, and we'd have to pass on rock climbing, but those activities could easily be replaced with a spot of gentle hill walking or a relaxing afternoon at the cinema followed by a romantic meal.
Men whose wives are more successful than they are.
For blokes like Jimmy Gulzar, who apparently couldn't cope living in the shadow of his Spice girl wife Mel G. Although a talented dancer himself, he felt overlooked and lost the confidence to be himself. According to reports it's a growing phenomenon, as more and more women get top jobs, and run the house and family around themselves. Men are left feeling useless and marriages fall apart. But, as American blokes have proved, there's nothing like a bit of male bonding in the backwoods to rekindle that old sense of machismo. Pack them all off to Sherwood Forest for a month - they would come back New Men, eager to get stuck in to the washing-up which has built up since they've been away.
And last, but by no means least:
Anyone having a life crisis.
We all go through periods where we feel depressed or unfulfilled but, unlike some, we can't all afford to jet off to Tibet to consult the Dalai Lama. A couple of weeks at a country retreat, away from phones, faxes and the television might help people get their thoughts together.
Such initiatives would be of benefit to virtually all the adult population and would be great vote winners. If they ever materialise, I'm first in the queue at the retreat.
Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.
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