Denis Healey met his wife Edna when they were both students at Oxford.

"She had a rosy face, was very popular, full of vitality, known as the 'Zuleika Dobson' of her time," recalls the former Chancellor of the Exchequer, who was brought up in Keighley.

Edna doesn't agree and counters: "I didn't see myself like that."

This exchange epitomises their strong and spirited relationship, which has spanned 60 years, and produced three children and four grandchildren.

Edna is no shrinking violet living in the shadow of a great man. She has the tough inner strength and sense of purpose which allowed her to initially act as "both mother and father" to their children while Denis was embroiled in politics and later to emerge as a writer, broadcaster and film-maker in her own right.

Theirs is a relationship built on independence as well as togetherness.

Denis, 83, former Labour Minister of Defence and more recently best-selling writer, and Edna give a disarmingly honest insight into their relationship in Couples: Scene From The Inside by Sally Cline.

The Healeys were among numerous couples interviewed for the book which explores how lives can be enhanced or destroyed by intimate partnerships.

Back at university Denis and Edna shared interests in political campaigns and marches. Their courtship, which began in 1940, was a long one due to the war. "I was abroad with Army, she was teaching at Keighley. I always saw her when I came home."

During the separation they both had affairs which they say strengthened their love. "Once we married in 1945, having affairs never arose, I don't think it arose for either of us. I've never been tempted," says Denis.

Edna is realistic about the pitfalls, predicaments and pleasures of being one of the "Wives of Fame", the ironic title of her own biography of Mary Livingstone, Jenny Marx and Emma Darwin. Throughout her husband's demanding career and her own their partnership has been punctuated by affection and humour.

Denis, who was made a life peer in 1992, says: "Love is the most important element in a marriage. Love is different from being 'in love'. That is a sort of neurosis, it rarely lasts for a very long time. Being in love with a person almost inevitably means misrepresenting them to yourself. Love develops over a period and is the one indispensable thing in a happy marriage."

Edna believes in the importance of balance in a lasting relationship.

She says: "If you find that there is one dominant partner, don't fight against it, accept it and work at it. I mean work with it. For example, if there was any kind of political crisis Denis's work would always come first...

"Achieving a balance in a marriage is hard. Yes, balance is the word that comes up again and again, and it's what I say to people: don't waste emotional energy on little things, if there are little irritants...no, save them up and have a good row!"

Edna talks frankly about the compromises she has made.

"They stem from the fact that we belong to a generation when mum did everything. You would come home from work if you were a man and mum would say: 'What do you want for your tea, love?' Your tea would be got!

"I can come in from a very hard day, but there is no question of Denis getting up and saying: 'Can I make you some tea?' He would if I asked, but it's not automatic".

A difficult period for the Healeys was during Denis's spell as Chancellor of the Exchequer.

"I had periods of great stress when I was Chancellor. That is when your wife needs the understanding and doesn't feel that...you know, hurt if you don't express affection as much as you otherwise would."

Edna recalls that period vividly. "As Chancellor of the Exchequer's wife I had no place whatsoever. I always say I had no more than five meals in the official dining room at No. 11 in the whole of the time!

If there is a listening problem, how do they communicate?

"We communicate by osmosis! And by reading. We often read the same things. It's amazing when you're happily married for a long time, you don't talk about things in the same sort of way. I like never to let the sun go down on my wrath. I would never let him out of the house having had a row, because one never knows. It's the most important rule in marriage."

An important part of Edna's creative independence is personal finance.

"Earning money yourself is terribly important. What is so embarrassing always for a wife is having to ask her husband for money to buy his present. I now have two accounts, a joint one and my own personal account.

"I felt I wanted to have the money I earned. I know there is a little pot of money into which I can dip without reference to Denis. It's a room of one's own in a sense."

The Healeys see themselves as a closely interconnected couple who also enjoy time apart. Denis says: "I like space, I think you need it ...But if one of us is in the country and the other in town we ring each other every day, perhaps two or three times a day."

But even more they enjoy time spent together.

Edna adds: "We are very lucky and happy at the moment and so few people get to our stage. When Denis says, 'I'm more in love with you...' what more could one want?

Couples: Scene From The Inside by Sally Cline (Warner, £8.99)

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.