To become a genius, you simply have to be able to think. Research has shown that geniuses channel their thoughts into their subject and "become" that subject.

For example, a painter becomes the tree he is painting, a scientist becomes the atom he is studying, and so on.

Does that mean that when I'm doing the washing-up and mentally analysing the difference between Fairy Liquid and Netto's own brand, I begin to rival Einstein?

What a lot of tosh! Anyone who works in any particular capacity puts the bulk of their thought processes into it, particularly if they like what they're doing.

As a journalist, I'm forever throwing my full brain power - an unrivalled, mighty force - behind whatever I write. I spend hours deliberating over such-and-such a word, sentence or paragraph.

I can safely say, I "become" whatever subject I'm writing about. But I certainly couldn't be described as a genius.

There's been a lot of speculation in the press recently as to what makes up a genius. One report suggested they were the product of permanently warring parents, another claimed that talking to the unborn child while still in the womb was the secret, and there's even a suggestion that living on a diet of raw vegetables produces brilliance.

The very idea of a genius puzzles me. Einstein may have been applauded for fiddling about with mathematical formulae - but I'll bet he couldn't do simple, practical things like boil an egg or tie his own shoelaces.

Naming no names, in a previous job I came across a selection of leading academics who may have been experts in their field but try as they might, they could not understand a railway timetable and some struggled to get to grips with a knife and fork.

We will all have different ideas of what makes up a "genius." In my opinion it's anyone who can:

n Honestly say they understand their mortgage.

n Cook a three-course, Sunday roast-style meal and have everything hot and ready to serve at the same time.

n Make a mistake on a computer and calmly, confidently rectify it without panicking madly and ringing a helpline, in the belief that you've lost all your work.

n Raise a family of nice, well-mannered, well-adjusted kids.

Then there are those who have the really good ideas which help get us through life. I don't want to offend the boffins, but the theory of relativity - all that drivel about velocity and acceleration - certainly doesn't benefit the man in the street.

But things like, let's think... putting tea leaves in bags - now whoever was responsible for that really is a genius.

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.