My life with 'the gaffer'

IT'S THE DREAM of many a woman - to marry a footballer. And Ann-Marie Jewel, pictured right, did just that.

Her husband-to-be was a schoolboy when they met. She was 16 and, with her best friend, had taken up the spare places on a school trip from their home town of Liverpool to Italy.

"That was when we first met, but two years later we met again and got talking," recalls Ann-Marie. "Then I got my friend to ask him to a party and we started going out."

Then 17, Paul Jewell - now famous as the man who brought Bradford back into the Premiership after 77 years - was an apprentice with Liverpool Football Club, while 19-year-old Ann-Marie was working in a bank.

The couple married and Paul went on to play for both Liverpool and Wigan before making the move to Bradford in 1988. After ten years as a player, he was appointed manager two years ago this month.

Although the family's life has revolved around football for some time, the appointment has meant some big changes, not least the need for privacy. The couple, who have two children Sam, ten, and seven-year-old Alexandra, have recently moved from Bingley to Ilkley, both for more space, and to ensure that they have a haven to escape to where they can lead their lives relatively undisturbed.

Says Ann-Marie: "We are in the public eye a lot more. Wherever we go people stop and talk and want Paul's autograph. It was well-known where we lived in Bingley and people had started pulling up and looking inside."

Things that people take for granted have become difficult for Paul. Says Ann-Marie: "People don't know me so I'm all right, I can whizz down to the shops in my jeans. But if I ask Paul to pop down or stop off for a Lottery ticket, he'd rather not because he might get hassled. It's as if his life is not his own."

And most of time it's not. If people imagine the end of the football season signals a long, sunshine holiday for football bosses and their families, they couldn't be further from the truth.

"He gets two weeks in June," says Ann-Marie, 36. "And even then he has to keep in regular contact with the club. Paul lives on his mobile. He never stops.

"We went to Canada last year to stay with my brother. We would be sitting around my brother's pool and agents would be ringing up, and Paul would speak to the chairman every day."

But, far from being irritated, Ann-Marie accepts that it comes with the job, and she realises that her husband can only relax after he's made those important calls.

She even finds it amusing. "Sam had to design a shield for school and put a symbol on for members of the family. He drew his seven-year-old sister Alexandra standing on her head because she likes gymnastics, he depicted me as a cooker - lovely - and Paul was a mobile phone!"

Sam is following in his dad's footsteps. He plays for Bradford City Under-11s and spends many an hour discussing match tactics with his dad. "They sit and talk football like two old men - I've got it all to come again," says Ann-Marie.

Tactics are something that she would never discuss with Paul, 35. "I wouldn't dream of it - even though I understand the game and get carried away with the rest of the supporters at a match."

Understandably, her husband's mood after a match is dictated by the result. If City have won on a Saturday afternoon, the family stops on the way home for tea. "But if they've lost we go straight home," she says. "Paul will relax by putting his feet up and watching Match of the Day."

She adds: "He was very down after Southampton. That was a game we could have won, and he was down, but I just leave him to himself. There is nothing I can say to make him feel any better. If he wants to talk he will. He's giving it his best shot - you can only do your best."

The pressure on Paul - who works seven days a week - is enormous. "You have more control when you're a player, as a manager you're on the sidelines. And if things don't go so well, your job is at risk."

Paul spends as much time with his family as he can, although away from the pitch he is kept busy attending dinners and other functions. Although some women might want to be part of that side of the job, Ann-Marie does not. "I never get invited but it doesn't bother me at all - football is a very 'man' thing and I wouldn't want to go."

Neither does she want to spend time socialising with other footballers' wives. "I have a good friend, Deborah Hutchings, the wife of Paul's assistant Chris. We are in the same boat - we both have children and husbands who get stressed out. But most of my friends are outside football."

Ann-Marie has carried on working, while bringing up her family, and has now been with Lloyds TSB for 20 years. She works part-time as a cashier and enjoys it.

Her name occasionally sparks questions from customers. "They ask me if I'm any relation to Paul, then when I say yes, they sometimes say: "Oh, are you his sister?"

But her workmates are unfazed. "To my colleagues I'm just Ann-Marie, one of the staff."

Despite work pressures, Ann-Marie and Paul manage to go for a meal together or out with friends around once a month and on a Sunday Paul takes Sam to his junior fixtures.

Ann-Marie is proud of what her husband has achieved. She has her own life and certainly does not walk in Paul's shadow. She feels she has struck the right balance by giving him space when he needs it and lending support when he asks for it. Although she has hesitated at one or two requests.

She joked: "When we were promoted I stood up and cried and Paul was shouting for me to come down on to the pitch, but I said "No - I'd get my heels stuck in the grass!"

And, unlike Posh Spice, she declined to discuss the couples' habits regarding underwear. Says Ann-Marie: "Paul said to me, if they ask don't tell them what you wear. I don't think he borrows anything from me, and all I borrow from Paul are his wellies."

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.