Sons just love to stay at home with mum. Mrs Merton's fictional relationship with Malcolm is, though perhaps not quite so comically, mirrored in thousands of homes throughout the country.

Last year more than half of men aged 20 to 24 lived with their parents compared with just over a third of women, according to the latest Social Trends statistics.

This ties in with the results of a survey last year by a leading mortgage lender, revealing that that more than half of all men buying their first home are aged almost 30 and move straight from the comfort of mum's, while women start on the property ladder five years earlier, having previously rented.

Now while I know that doting mothers everywhere will be thrilled with this verdict, it's bad news for single girls hoping to snare a husband. Because no female in her right mind would tie the knot with a bloke who lives with mum.

Men don't stay at home for sentimental reasons - their motives are purely selfish. How else could twenty-something males afford cars which cost more to insure than they do to buy? How else could they afford to fly to a range of European cities for a 90-minute game of football? And how do they manage to go clubbing every weekend dressed in Paul Smith suits?

The answer is as clear as their Clinique-coated complexions - they're still living at home. These lads may be labelled "Mummy's boys," but they have got their heads well and truly screwed on.

They don't have to race around the supermarket after work for a micro-wave meal, nor do they have to hover over a hot stove to cook their own meals or face the unpleasant chore of washing -up. And they certainly don't have to get their hands dirty sorting out their laundry. Oh no - they're more than happy for mum to do the lot.

Worst of all, while most of them earn a decent wage, they feel not a pang of guilt in slipping poor old mum a mere £10 a week "board" - if she's lucky.

Unlike Malcolm Merton, most stay-at-home sons are merely exploiting their mothers - not enjoying her company every evening with a game of draughts a spot of telly and a night-cap of Horlicks. They want to enjoy the nearest thing to a champagne lifestyle before saddling themselves with a mortgage and, in many cases, a family.

The trouble is, when they eventually do meet the girl of their dreams and move out, they have grown so accustomed to being waited on hand and foot they expect the life of Riley to continue - meals on the table when they come in from work, clothes washed, whatever they like on the TV.

Changing such a man takes time - and, judging by the divorce rate, most people don't stay married that long.

As a footnote, it's important to point out that I'm not saying blokes who leave home earlier make better partners. My husband left home at 11 when he was sent to boarding school - that throws up a different, far more complex set of problems.

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.