The days are getting brighter but for me there is a dark cloud on the horizon. This week I take the first exam of the course I'm on.

Now, there are some of you who probably think that student life is one big party with endless late nights of caffeine-fuelled frenzy (and the rest) and hardly any work. But I don't agree. Even at undergraduate level there was a limit to how little work we could do, and sometimes we just used to get fed up and actually do some.

But there are certain traits unique to students and no other section of society, such as sleeping a lot, being scruffy and doing very little work (All right - tramps, too). Even I, sensible and staid with Toddler when I'm at home at weekends, have succumbed to peer pressure and started to eat toasted sandwiches at midnight, watch Neighbours and walk round in clothes that don't match.

True I don't have much energy this time round but I have been able to recapture my youth with a few moments of total and utter hedonistic pleasure such as eating chocolate Hob Nobs without trying first to thrust them down Toddler's throat.

But this week I have not been as laid back as I normally am because of the imminent exam. I am not an exam person. The mention of the horrid e-word brings me out in a cold sweat.

Daniella Westbrook may think she has had it tough going through her drugs and booze hell, but my teen years were no picnic either, what with geography O-level to contend with. There are better things to do.

At exam time you have a million notes to make and memorise but suddenly this is the best time to start that novel you've always wanted to write, but never had the inspiration - until now. Then you have to write all those letters and e-mails to relations in Pakistan that you've been avoiding for the past six months.

Sleeping for hours and hours also becomes vitally important and it definitely becomes the best time for watching soaps. Though Aaron Spelling must have realised this and taken his fantastic creation Sunset Beach off the air on purpose. No-one in Sunset Beach had to worry about exams or jobs or work. Oh well, I'll just have to make do with Family Affairs.

Unfortunately, these exams do not help me to feel young. Especially as my memory is going and it is hard enough to remember to take the stereo out of the car let alone all this college stuff. I did start taking ginseng supplements in a bid to improve my mental powers but, you know, I couldn't remember to take them.

Of course, if I do manage to scrape though I'll have to organise a big celebration. That's what students do best after all. You never know, I might even push the boat out and crack open a packet of chocolate Hob Nobs. Now there's an incentive.

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.