I have been feeling quite homesick lately. I know I shouldn't be ungrateful. There are, of course, advantages in being a student on an out-of-town college course, like waking up later (in my case 6.30am instead of 4.30am), not having to wear foundation and earrings and being able to sing: You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling slightly off-key! Hey, if karaoke is good enough for Prince William who am I to argue?

However, your way of thinking does change dramatically when you are a student. For example, you start thinking that two rounds of toast constitutes a proper meal, or that watching Blind Date challenges the mind. Well, it does but not in a good way.

You start thinking that you'd like to change the world and buy some incense sticks and candles. Or you get really ridiculous and start actually doing some studying.

My course is more than two-thirds of the way through and I am glad to say that I have learned a great deal up in the North East. As well as general education I have learned other important things, such as how long to cook Microchips in and how long it takes to cook a three-minute pizza.

I have learned that Boyzone posters are good at covering up damp walls (well, that's my excuse for the huge life-size pic of Ronan and co) and kebabs, lovingly prepared by my mum who thinks I am wasting away, will only last three days in the fridge and not several months as I had hoped.

Like eating and working, other normal aspects of your life go out of the window. Your beauty routine consists of your friends telling you you look like Pocahontas.

Suddenly evenings are not for watching soap operas, but for revising or making notes. You start reading text books with no pictures in.

People are always complaining that childhood is concerned with too much study, and I know people who are brilliant academically but cannot boil an egg. Come to think of it, boiling an egg is quite difficult. I have learned that there is too much to learn, too much to know and it is never ending. And how useful is it all anyway?

I can remember the facts required to pass an exam (with a credit, no less) but why, oh why, can I never remember to take a carrier bag with me when I go to Netto, which results in me walking out with 17 cans of cola in my arms because I am too stingy to buy another one.

There is a world of difference between the world of work and study, which is probably why some people are perpetual students. Some prefer to spend their lives with a book. Others are more practical.

Me? I prefer the university of life. I don't think I'm any better in the real world but I have high hopes and big ambitions. Yes, one day I might remember that carrier bag when I go to Netto. Now that would be a distinction.

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.