Forgiven - but I can't forget

PENSIONER JOYCE Wood picks a series of greetings cards from a shoe box and reads the messages they contain. The box is full to the brim and she has to take them out a few at a time.

"I got so many, loads from people in Bradford, but also a good many from other parts of the country. And a lot from people who didn't even know me."

The 73-year-old made the national headlines three years ago when her cheekbone was fractured after a teenager hurled a lump of wood at her brother-in-law Clem. He ducked and Joyce bore the brunt of the blow.

The incident happened after the youth, and two others, had been walking through Clem's garden in Undercliffe. Recalls Joyce: "We were in the lounge and Clem had some washing on the line. Then the lads appeared through the washing. We didn't know what they were up to - they might have been pinching it. Clem went to the door and asked what they were doing in his garden, then they jumped over the railings. One started shouting abuse, one started stroking Clem's dog and the other threw a piece of wood. "It came like a boomerang whizzing through the air - you could hear it. Clem moved and it hit me on the side of the face."

Joyce points to a scar, about an inch long, on top of her left cheekbone. It is a permanent reminder of the attack, as well as the headaches and numbness she sometimes feels on that side of her face.

After she was hit, she fell to the floor, and the youths ran off. Says Joyce: "Clem said to me later, 'I thought you were dead lass'."

With a history of heart problems, Joyce might not have recovered. "I was out cold and as I came round I thought, 'the little devils, they are not going to undo all that Killingbeck Hospital has done for me'."

Joyce's face was a mess. She had terrible bruising and because of the heart medication she was taking - which causes blood to thin - the deep purple skin discoloration extended below her breastbone.

Her husband, Robert, was horrified. "He was like everyone else, saying what he would like to do to the culprits."

The former Grattan quality controller spent a week in Bradford Royal Infirmary before being allowed home, where she nervously tried to ease back into her old routine. But it was five months before she dared venture out of the house on her own.

"At first I didn't dare go out without Bob, but then I went to have my hair done at the salon at the end of the street. It took three hours because so many people stopped me to ask how I was. Even the local lads came up asking after me. It took me so long to walk there and back that Bob came out looking for me."

She added: "For a while Bob kept wanting to come with me when I went out, but I said I had to learn to do things on my own."

As well as feeling more anxious after the attack, Joyce was also left with other less welcome after-effects. "There's the numbness which I've mentioned, and for a long time I used to wake up in the night."

Yet while she was left more nervy, unlike some female victims of assault Joyce was determined to see the perpetrators in court. When one of the boys confessed his involvement to a member of his family, they turned him in and the others were caught.

The 15-year-old who threw the wood was sentenced to six months in a young offenders institution, while the boy who hurled abuse was given 12 months' probation. The third, aged 11, who was present but did not get involved, was conditionally discharged for a year.

Sitting in the front room of the couple's terraced house off Sticker Lane, Bradford, with her dog and pet cats, Joyce says: "Victims are often scared to fight for justice, but I was determined they would not get away with it. If nothing happened to that boy and he wasn't shown that what he did was wrong, how would he go on in the future?"

She adds: "I have a message for any victim of crime - and that is to not be afraid to stand up for yourself afterwards. And I would say don't shut yourself away - keep going out to all the usual places and social events."

Joyce and Robert received a lot of messages of goodwill from their many friends, including people at Greenhill Baptist Church, Leeds Road, where they worship, the Burma Star war veterans association, the local history society and the busy church Friday Club that they enjoy.

Joyce has received more than £2,000 compensation for her injuries from the Criminal Injuries Compensation Authority. As time goes on the memory may fade, but she does not actively try to forget what happened. Yet while she does not forget, she has forgiven her attacker. "I believe in forgiveness - if Christ can forgive, I can."

Legacy of fear for Sharon

Sharon Birdsall had always been a friendly, outgoing and confident person. She enjoyed her daytime job as a receptionist and her evening job two days a week as cashier in a garage.

Married with a 15-year-old daughter, Sharon lived life to the full - until the fateful night last June when she was attacked by a masked raider.

"Even now, after nine months, I am still afraid to go out alone, even in the daytime, and the attack comes back to haunt me night after night in my dreams," said Sharon, 35, who lives in Shipley.

The filling station in Leeds Road, Windhill, had been relatively quiet on the night the attack occurred. "I was chatting to a friend when she noticed a man creeping around the back by some parked cars. Going to investigate, she found nothing suspicious and left soon afterwards.

"I was cashing up, when this masked man ran in and jumped over the counter towards me. He hit me on the side of the head with a hammer and I fell down.

"It was so fast, I didn't realise what had happened at first, until I put my hand to my head and found I was bleeding. By that time he was shouting obscenities at me and demanding money. I was so mad I shouted back at him, saying why hadn't he asked me for money before hitting me, but he was out of control. Then I saw he had a knife as well and I was really terrified.

"I need the money more than you", he shouted. "I need it for drugs, so you get it for me now".

Sharon gave him the money and he ran off.

She said: "I have always been a very strong person in myself, even though I am small in height. I believed if anyone threatened me I would not give them money, but being hit by a hammer and held at knifepoint soon changes your mind."

"I phoned the police first, before contacting my boss and my husband. The police kept me talking on the phone to make sure I did not pass out before they arrived. Later I was sent to hospital for a check-up, but I was allowed home that night, even though I was very distressed.

"It has totally shaken my confidence, and even though I only had a week off work, I am still suffering from the after-effects of the attack. Every time I stepped out of the house I felt panicky and still can't go any further than the corner shop on my own. I was physically sick for weeks and my nightmares got so bad I had counselling at work, but found it all rather intrusive. I am a very private person and like to solve my own problems. Victim Support also called on me a couple of times and my doctor prescribed tranquillisers to help with the bad dreams, but really I have just got to work through this in my own way.

"I tried to go back to the garage, but as soon as I got inside the building I felt the most terrible feeling of dread and panic overtook me again. I had the same reaction at my office to begin with, as some of the windows are similar to those in the garage. It is like a living nightmare from which it is impossible to wake up.

"My husband has been very supportive, but I don't want to dwell on the incident because I have a daughter and would hate her to become too frightened to go out. Life has to go on and I am coping."

This dreadful experience has changed the life of Sharon and her family. Although she coped very bravely when confronted by the masked attacker and showed great presence of mind, she has been left with a legacy of fear which she is finding very hard to overcome.

How to get help

Every year Victim Support helps thousands of victims of violence and aims to offer a comprehensive service to all sections of the community. Violence can include verbal abuse, threats and physical assault. It doesn't matter whether it takes place in your home, on the street, at work or with friends. The sad fact is that most violence is carried out by someone the victim knows.

As a victim of violence you may be eligible for criminal injuries compensation and Victim Support volunteers are trained to give information, practical help and emotional support to people who have been threatened or assaulted. Volunteers can accompany you to the police station or court and can give you information about police and court procedures and liaise with other organisations if you need different kinds of help.

"Crimes of violence are referred by the police to Victim Support, through certain crimes are subject to consent referral, such as murder, domestic violence and serious sexual assault", explained Pat White, chairman of Keighley & District Victim Support. "We are here to help the victim, whatever the type of crime. There is no need to suffer alone or be afraid to seek help. Our service is confidential and free.

For further information phone 01535 606871.

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.