An Ilkley vicar and his wife, devastated by the death of their baby daughter, are considering setting up a local support group for other bereaved parents.

And Rosie Tudge and her husband are calling for the removal of the taboo surrounding such tragedies.

The couple's daughter Iona - who suffered from Edwards' Syndrome, a rare chromosomal disorder which meant she developed much slower than other children - died in May last year aged 18 months.

Mrs Tudge said "prettifying" death with comments about Iona sitting on a cloud in heaven were not a comfort, adding that she would prefer people to "participate in the pain".

And she said, although it was very real, her Christian faith did not make a difference to the "torture" of living on after the death of a loved one, adding: "I probably have 40 years ahead of me in this life and feel annoyed when folks tell me I'll see my child in heaven one day.

"My anger comes from a feeling that this is said not as a comfort for me but as a way of their avoiding looking into the hell I am now living in.

"My message is that life after death is only made bearable if friends and family dare to look into your hell and weep with you, not avoid you, or worse, not mention the dead person out of 'thoughfulness' or try to 'prettify' death by painting pictures of angels playing in heaven."

Mrs Tudge said the British "discomfort" with death needed to be addressed if friends were to help the bereaved. And her husband, the Reverend Paul Tudge - vicar of All Saints Parish Church - said they were now looking into the possibility of setting up an informal support group in the Wharfe area.

He said: "Organisations like Cruse are wonderful and the Martin House Hospice still keeps in contact with us.

"The Ardenlea Marie Curie Centre does some very good work helping bereaved families but I do think there's a need for some more informal groups."

The Rev Tudge added: "Mostly people have been very sensitive but one or two have said the daftest of things like 'Well, you've got three other children' or 'It's been six months now, you really ought to be throwing yourself into other things'.

"I still have my sad days and I'm sure the first anniversary of her death will be very hard for us both.

"But I also look back with great enjoyment on the time we had with Iona - happy memories and sadness go together and I don't think it's inappropriate to have both emotions.

"My faith has helped and I do believe Iona will be made strong again - that is a comfort to me but doesn't mean I don't miss her.

"My Christian faith enables me to trust God even through things that don't work out as you'd hoped - I don't doubt His love but it doesn't wrap you up in cotton wool."

The Rev Tudge said they were planning to mark the first anniversary of Iona's death by spending time by her graveside at Adel churchyard.

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