The Blair babe is due this month and, after the "should she/shouldn't she?" debate on the pros and cons of a caesarean birth, the miles of column inches devoted to the paternity leave issue and the endless drivel about why Cherie (pictured right) is blooming, it's easy to guess what will be next on the agenda.

Breast-feeding - no doubt with the usual "Breast is Best" message being shoved down everyone's throats.

Remember the breast-feeding Spice Girls, Victoria Adams and Mel B, giving their babies what, as the National Childbirth Trust press release said, "they really, really want"? Says who? Those babies can't talk. They might prefer a bottle of formula, who knows?

I've already had the displeasure of reading how Cherie, being an older, educated, metropolitan mum, is "the archetypal breast-feeder."

What rubbish. No-one in any demographic group is a 'typical' breast-feeder. I'm an older, educated - although some would dispute that - non-metropolitan mum and find the whole idea of breast-feeding repulsive. Am I the archetypal bottle feeder?

I must admit, I was terrified when I went into hospital to have my first child. Not of the birth itself - although it turned out to be a long, drawn-out affair - but of the pressure I would be put under to breast-feed.

I had this image in my mind of a huge-breasted, matronly ward sister like Hattie Jacques in Carry on Nurse, bearing down upon me, hauling up my nightie and thrusting my child in the direction of my bosom.

As it turned out, my worries were unfounded. Amazingly, the subject of breast-feeding was barely touched upon. In fact, it was quite the opposite.

I can't speak for all the new mums, but I was positively discouraged from breast-feeding. "It's not worth it, you'll be worn out," I was told. "At least with the bottle your husband can get up and do it." Our ward was even shown a video of how to prepare formula feeds. Wonderful.

Of course, I still had to suffer the usual comments from the breast-feeding fraternity, tinged with concern about how the first gush of mother's milk is vital to build up an immune system. But it was short-lived.

Once these mums had experienced the long hours of painful, weary wrestling with a suckling infant in the wee small hours, at least half were on the verge of hitting the bottle (100 per cent proof vodka, as a rule).

Two years later, when my second daughter arrived, things were quite different. Breast milk was back on the menu at the hospital and we were urged to give it a go. Bombarded with leaflets and lectures from all sides, it smacked of cult-style brainwashing.

Hormones raging, I became convinced that, within seconds of leaving the maternity ward, my baby would succumb to every bug known to man.

So I gave the dreaded chore a go. Fortunately, my daughter wasn't having any of it, and I was able to rest my case without further harassment.

Don't get me wrong, I've nothing against breast-feeding, although I'm still not entirely comfortable with the increasingly common public displays. It's just not for me. Kids spend enough time hanging on to various parts of their mother's anatomy, without any active encouragement.

My message to Cherie is: Don't go with the flow, feel not a pang of guilt and make a much-needed stand for bottle-feeders everywhere.

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.