AS an ambush, the Sioux Indians (or should I say "native Americans"?) could not have done it better. Unlike General Custer's Last Stand, however, this time there were no casualties. We hope...

Mary, the Doc's wife, is a kindly, trusting soul who has worked as long and hard as her husband to keep his rural practice going these past 30 odd years. But she never assumed any airs and graces, as sometimes happens with the wives of prominent local citizens.

She has always taken an active role in the WI, but never as chairman (woman? person?), and this week, she didn't even know she had been ambushed.

She faced a formidable trio down at the Institute, an unlikely alliance of Cousin Kate, the post mistress, the Rev Mrs Rupert, the vicar's wife, and Teacher Tess. They meant business...

You see, the Doc is threatening to retire, worn out by all the intrigues and red tape of the NHS even though he is just touching 60. To we Beggarsdalians, this is a potential blow almost as bad as the closing of the quarry or the sale of the Old Vicarage.

Trouble is, the Doc doesn't say much about his private affairs so no-one is quite sure of his motives.

Which is why Mary found herself surrounded by a trio of spies after the lecture on health and safety at home was over. She was washing her hands in the tiny loo when the heavy mob moved in.

"We're a bit worried, Mary," said Kate. "We are not quite sure why your husband wants to quit. Is it something we've done? Is there anything we can do to put it right?"

Mary frowned: "I really don't think I should be discussing this. But, no, I'm sure its nothing you've done. He still loves it here and so do I. We won't leave, even if he gives up the practice."

A glimmer of hope. Mrs Rupert took up the challenge, perhaps the poorest lady in the parish but, like the Doc's wife, one of considerable standing: "That's good to hear, Mary, but is there anything we can do to make his working life easier?"

Mary and the Doc share an old and somewhat ramshackle small holding on the brow of Windmill Hill, where she keeps an old pony and a few Jacob's sheep.

"That's a very kind offer," Mary smiled. "But what could you do? Quite frankly, my husband gets tired with the long hours and would prefer to be working on our little patch. Sheep, even rare breeds, can be a lot less trouble than some patients - not that I mean any of you three, of course."

"Ah," said Teacher Tess. "We all need a break from time to time. Perhaps you should take a longish holiday.

"As a matter of fact we are," said Mary. "We've managed to get a locum in for a whole month. We're going to Greece and then on a Nile cruise."

"Hmm," said the three lady inquisitors. Tess was about to speak again but Kate held up a silencing hand. "Well have a good time, Mary." said Kate.

"Give the doctor our regards." There's more here than meets the eye...

*The Curmudgeon is a satirical column based on a fictitious character in a mythical village.