Leeds United 6, Bradford City 1: David O'Leary signed off the chirpiest of press conferences at Elland Road with a claim that Leeds never have an ounce of luck.
He was in genial mood yesterday as his side began their Champions' League-chasing target of six points in six days . . . with six goals.
But for the Irishman to claim he never gets the rub of the green was a bit rich after the way City lost their goalkeeper straight before kick-off.
There is no point in making excuses for a woefully inadequate first-half display, but the team's derby-day plans were blown out the water the moment Gary Walsh, voted players' player of the year this week, went "ouch".
Aidan Davison was hastened from the bench but City, already minus a big centre-half with David Wetherall and Robert Molenaar both injured, had lost the heart of their defence.
Davison had not played since the Worthington Cup 4-3 loss at Newcastle on November 1 and has not kept a clean sheet at any level this season.
It was not the best omen for a game with the dreaded neighbours and Leeds took only 14 minutes to maintain Davison's unfortunate record.
Amazingly the home side's finishing was so deadly it wasn't until 11 minutes from the end that the Northern Ireland keeper was credited with his first genuine save - by which time he had already picked the ball out the net five times.
Bantams boss Jim Jefferies sighed: "I wish the first half had never happened. It's bad enough losing Wetherall when you come to places like this.
"Then Molenaar was ruled out and when the goalkeeper got injured in the warm-up, we knew we were right up against it."
The fans must have got wind of what was to come, judging by the empty spaces at the away end. Even allowing for the frustrations of a long, long season it was a poor turn-out for a game just up the road.
The 2,000 or so behind Davison's goal got a painful close-up as Leeds had fun in the sun with little intervention from the opposition.
O'Leary had demanded goals, goals, goals to push Ipswich out of the reckoning for the money-spinning third place finish and City's dozy defence was in the mood to oblige.
Once Ian Harte had cut inside Ian Nolan to cross for Mark Viduka's diving header to provide the first, the floodgates weren't so much opened as ripped right from their hinges.
Five minutes later Davison didn't move a muscle as Harte floated the second from a free-kick while City were still sorting out their wall.
Leeds looked like scoring with every attack and yet City, on the occasions they could cross the halfway line, posed a few attacking questions of their own.
And they stunned their hosts by quickly pulling one back as Ashley Ward took a short pass from Eoin Jess with his back to goal, held off Dominic Matteo and turned to drill a shot inside the near post, pictured.
It was Ward's first league goal away from Valley Parade - his only previous strikes on his travels were also at Newcastle in Davison's last outing.
But 2-1 for six minutes was as good as it got for City.
Leeds stormed back with a move as sharp as the team's skinhead haircuts. Alan Smith's pass carved through the back four and Eirik Bakke ignored the offside appeals to flick home with the outside of his right foot.
Three became four in the 39th minute when Danny Mills - dubbed the football genius by his Elland Road admirers - blazed past Wayne Jacobs to cross deep from the byline, Viduka headed back and Smith volleyed in from close range.
If there was somebody suffering even more than Davison, it was right back Nolan whose abiding memory of his first start for five months must be a clear view of the back of Harry Kewell's heels.
Show-boating Kewell turned him inside out and back again with some outrageous skills as he scored the goal of the game after 43 minutes.
Benito Carbone won City a corner with some superb twinkle-toes on the touchline but he was instantly outshone by the Australian.
Nigel Martyn collected Carbone's kick and boomed a clearance upfield where Kewell brought it down on his knee before flicking it up twice like a playground game of "keepy-uppy".
Nolan watched bemused as Kewell shimmied his way past into the penalty area before driving a left-footer beyond the hapless Davison.
City's frustration spilled out as Stuart McCall and Andy Myers got up close and personal before Gunnar Halle and, surprisingly, the angelic Leeds frontline jumped in to intervene.
The half-time whistle couldn't come soon enough - and thankfully at that moment Leeds decided to declare.
City reshaped and McCall became the third centre-half alongside Halle and Myers, the pair having made up in the break.
They tightened up as Leeds took their foot off the pedal although Kewell produced another mesmeric run when he pirouetted through the middle with two 360 degree turns before shooting wide.
Jess offered City some light relief with a couple of tests for Martyn until Davison finally pulled off a bona-fide block with his knees after Lee Bowyer had burst free.
But six minutes from time the keeper was back to retrieving the ball from his net again as Bowyer held off a desperate lunge by Jacobs to turn home number six.
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