THE LESSON this week, kiddywinks, is on the subject of mendacity. For those of you who have trouble with long words, here are some clues as to what it involves: fibs, whoppers, porkies or simple downright lies.

Now I would not like the cynics out there to suggest that I raise such a subject because there is a general election campaign afoot. We all know that politicians never actually lie.

They may, of course, prevaricate from time to time. They might even dissemble (look that one up yourselves). But to actually come up with outright pork pies, never!

But one does have to wonder how acceptable lying has now become in public life. And in this, I am pointing a finger at great and grand organisations like the BBC and ITV. A few months ago, there was an unholy row when ITV decided to scrap News at Ten. The reason, they told Parliament and the press, was to enable them to run full-length feature films or two hour plays uninterrupted.

Then the BBC jumped into the act and moved the once sacrosanct 9 o'clock news to 10 for similar reasons: to give the viewers an unbroken chance to watch quality programmes.

And what have they come up with? Apart from the odd repeat of the Frost detective series, soaps and quiz shows. The hors d'ouevres of a good night's viewing are now the main course. The main course has been thrown away completely or, when it comes to films, postponed to the early hours when all decent folk should be a'bed.

Now, most of we Beggarsdalians don't watch the television news at all. At ten in the evening, we country folk are in bed or, on celebration nights, in the Beggars' Arms. We get our news from the papers or the radio.

But, hold on, there is an election afoot. The politicians wanted the news programmes back at their old times. What they don't realise is that no-one watches then, either, because it is all so damn boring: at Curmudgeon Corner, the set will be off until June 8.

However, this is digressing. The question is: should the TV companies be allowed to give reasons for making major changes which, changes made, are instantly forgotten?

Major commercial companies lie all the time when it comes to protecting their share prices and no one in the City of London seems to mind. On the New York stock exchange, the collapse of confidence in hi-tech companies is being blamed on brokers who lied about the future prospects of these fragile pioneers in order to sell shares on which they reaped huge commissions.

Yet back in the mists of time, parents, teachers and relatives pounded into youngsters the importance of telling the truth.

My Sunday school teacher said there was a man in Heaven who wrote a little cross in a book every time you fibbed. If you fibbed on a Sunday, she said, that cross went into the book in red ink!

My book must be pretty full by now but most of the lies I have told (cross my heart) have been to save someone else's feelings: yes, it is a nice dress/car/garden/house/meal etc etc.

These are not whoppers told by great institutions to the British public as a whole. But, honestly, does anyone still care? Mendacity rules, OK!

* The Curmudgeon is a satirical column based on a fictitious character in a mythical village.