IT'S that time of year again. The nights are closing in, the days are wet and misty, most of the work has been done in the garden and the visitors have gone.

This was the season, just a couple of years ago, when Mrs C and I would lie late abed on a Saturday morning (late, for us, means 8.30am) and read with anticipation what was coming up on the telly in the coming week.

Those were the days, remember, when they had a thing called the "autumn schedules", when TV planners discarded the dross of the summer months and gave us some new, good, hard-hitting programmes...

Programmes that made you think.

Now I am not sure when this interdict went out - it was never made public news - but someone, somewhere ruled that thought-provoking programmes were verboten.

The television viewing public, it was decreed, had the IQ of the average pomegranate and, therefore, spending money on good writing, good acting and good research was a waste of money.

So we got what Nero and other bent Roman emperors ordered, bread and circuses - except in these circuses, the only people who die (unlike gladiators and Christians) are the audience.

Of boredom, you understand.

Now I have mentioned this before and (at the risk of using more repeats than TV) mention is again only because there were reports at the weekend that the Government is getting tough with the BBC and, in particular, BBC1 over its dumbing down policy.

It is to be set tests, according to leaks from the Department of Culture, Media and Sport, to show that, year on year, it is improving its output of so-called "quality" broadcasting in fields like drama, current affairs, children's programmes etc etc.

And if it doesn't pull its socks up, it has been warned that its very charter, due for review in 2005, might not be renewed: ie, RIP BBC TV as a publicly funded operation.

Now, please excuse me whilst I take a long, hard yawn.

Without being unduly cynical about all this, haven't we heard this somewhere before? Hasn't it had more repeats than Dads Army?

The threat, you see, comes from the aforesaid ministry which gave us The Dome, a bridge over the Thames that doesn't, and allowed Wembley Stadium to be knocked down without ensuring that another one could be built in its place.

But that, you see, might be something of a smoke screen: the Department of Scapegoats for Government Cock-ups is already being chained to the stake.

If this alleged shake-up had been ordered at Number 10, however, there might be another motive merely than making Beggarsdale's winter evenings more pleasant.

You see, the years 2004/5 are very likely dates for (I beg forgiveness for using these words) the next general election. And every election I can ever remember has always been clouded by allegations of bias and distortion by the ruling government against the BBC.

Could it be that, this time, the Government is getting its retaliation in first?

* The Curmudgeon is a satirical column, based on a fictional character in a mythical Dales village.