If you're a minor celebrity, don't bother coming here. That was the reaction from Ian Nichol when he read a tongue-in-cheek article in a national newspaper that took a light-hearted pop at Keighley.

Ian, from Utley, was reading last Thursday's edition of the Guardian when he saw the article about the cheesy new ITV series "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!", which involved abandoning such stellar figures as Christine Hamilton, Darren Day and Uri Geller in the Australian jungle.

Accompanying the article was a questionnaire enabling the reader to determine whether they were D list celebrity material or not.

All was well until Ian saw question 12, which mentioned ownership of houses.

Those who answered Holland Park, Bel Air, Nice and the Upper West Side were offered ten points and were marked out as A list stars, but those who answered uptown and downtown Keighley were rewarded with one point and a trip to the D list bargain basement.

Stoked up by this slight on Keighley, Ian penned his own letter back stating that Keighley was only fit for the cream of stardom.

Ian, who works for Bradford College, said: "The idea of the likes of Tara Palmer-Tomkinson or Christine Hamilton moving to Keighley doesn't even bear thinking about.

"I don't know what we have done against The Guardian to turn them against us."

In his letter Ian states: "Having lived in Keighley for over 16 years I can assure that we are on the A list as regards location, with the magnificent Keighley and Worth Valley Railway, the beauty of Bront Country and the Yorkshire Dales, the unsurpassed nectar that is Timothy Taylor's beer, and the truly innovative Keighley Cougars Rugby League team .

"We wouldn't give house-room to any D list celebrities."

Ian adds that his letter has still to appear in the paper.