Within the confines of what was the original Betty's tea shop in Bradford a group of men sit chatting.

They find mutual ground in football but it's family life which unites them, as these dads are all lone parents.

While mums are more comfortable sharing their feelings, dads aren't used to chatting freely about home life.

They tend to keep their thoughts to themselves but bottling things up can cause endless problems, as Michael Myers and Ian Metcalfe found out to their cost. Both dads, separated from partners and raising family alone, were drowning in debt to the detriment of their family until they discovered Bradford's Gingerbread project, part of a national charity founded 25 years ago by a group of lone female parents seeking help and support.

"I got into difficulty with money because I was like an ostrich burying my head in the sand, " says Michael. "I'd rather sort it out myself, and not knowing about Gingerbread or the other charities available to help me it was getting worse and worse."

Ian has been a single parent for four years. "I found it very difficult at first to handle money. I'd never been good at paying bills. Living on my own for so long I'd got behind but you have to reach the bottom level before you ask for help. I suppose it's a case of swallowing your pride and asking. I also thought it was my responsibility to look after my daughter and provide for her."

Both dads were signposted to Gingerbread through CHAS, an organisation providing specialist advice and help with housing and related debt and benefits problems.

Initially it was a place for lone parents seeking advice and support.

Outreach worker Gary Cavanagh explained how Bradford's Gingerbread branch had expanded its facilities to meet the needs of the thousands of parents who came to the Darley Street premises, home to Betty's at the turn of the century and latterly the Panache nightclub.

There's a caf, a charity shop and a creche for parents who want to come in and use the computer suites or take part in educational courses to pick up where they left off at school.

Gingerbread also runs a housing project, providing temporary accommodation for lone-parent families, and a community nanny project, a flexible child care service for lone parents on low incomes with no access to other forms of childcare.

Funding comes through various charitable organisations nationally and locally. Without the support of groups such as The White Rose Bikers, who raise funds to help subsidise trips throughout the year and donate Christmas presents and Easter treats for families who can't afford, many would go without.

"At Christmas we get bags and bags of toys, brand new stuff they've bought and donated. We'd really like to thank them for what they do, " says Gary.

The charity also receives overwhelming support from the people of the city and local organisations for its Secret Santa, a confidential gift-buying service for children in care. "We know it's hard for people on low wages and benefits to meet the present criteria, " says Gary.

A qualified teacher, Gary came to Gingerbread as a tutor for Gingerale, an adult learning scheme. He also looks after the men's group which he's keen to expand.

Statistics show that while mums predominantly make up the loneparent population, ten per cent are dads going it alone. There are 1,200 lone dads in Bradford and district.

Twenty of those, like Michael and Ian, have found Gingerbread, but Gary and his colleagues are keen to target more.

"Unfortunately men tend to be a bit more resistant about coming forward, " says Gary.

Traditionally men are seen as the breadwinners, a typecasting which has made them too proud to ask for help. "A lot of men who are single parents may have family and friends who can offer support so they may feel they don't need anything like we can offer and that's entirely up to them, but a lot of men who don't have family and friends to support them may feel isolated and depressed, and we want to target them."

Through past experience, Gary can empathise with many of the dads who come through the door. "I've been a single parent so I have the experience. I can relate and empathise. I understand the isolation and loneliness."

What concerns Gary and his colleagues is there may be men out there who need support yet may not be aware it's there or know how to tap into it. Michael and Ian hope sharing their experiences may prompt other men to come forward.

Both dads have sorted their debt problems. Former wagon driver Ian found a new career in a call centre through Gingerbread.

"Before coming here I didn't know how to switch on a computer. Now I've done courses here and got a job through it, " he says.

"Without Gingerbread I would still have my head in the sand, " says Michael. "Now I'm talking to people, relating to people and telling them about Gingerbread."

Says Ian: "I would just say to all single parents to give it a go. You've got nothing to lose."

And his message to the men?

"Forget your pride and get involved."

For more information about Bradford's Gingerbread project call (01274) 720564.

ABOUT GINGERBREAD. . .

Gingerbread is a multicultural self-help organisation for one-parent families.

Gingerlink works in conjunction with other agencies including Job Centre's Lone Parent Unit and the multi-agency Dads Network sharing information and resources. It also promotes the social side, organising activities such as fivea-side football, as well as trips to the seaside and amusement parks.