Mrs M and I have been a little unwell over the last two weeks.

It seems that having avoided our entire coughing and sneezing family members during the Christmas period, we have caught the tail-end of some bug trying its best to make us miserable just before spring arrives.

It is unusual for my wife to feel ill as, being a nurse, she seems to have built up a healthy amount of resistance to common bugs over the years.

We have now, however, developed the same symptoms and as a result we have stereo sickness.

I don’t want to appear selfish, but being under the weather at the same time as your partner only adds to the complications; I now have to share the attention and sympathy with another person.

Our malady started with a slight sore throat and a cough that tended to sound like one of those false noises trying to convince others that we were not well. For a while it seemed that we would perform this drama in sync with each other.

That is where the similarity ends. Mrs M is a good patient and suffers in relative silence. I employ all my amateur dramatic skills to ensure that everyone knows the pain I am going through.

In a similar way I ensure that the scene is complete by looking as ill as I feel; unshaven chin and sticky-up hair until I become Stig Of The Dump. My wife, however, still seems to maintain her natural grace even through the most trying of circumstances.

Even after one rather painful and heavy session of nausea, Mrs M, almost by instinct, picked up a brush as she returned to bed and tidied her hair.

Even when we had to visit the emergency doctor in the middle of the night she still managed to look stylish and presentable while at the same time feeling ill and feverish.

Determined to see the positive side, my wife took the opportunity of weighing herself after about three days of not eating, exclaiming, ‘there must be some upside to being ill’.

She has obviously been in some pain and thus unable to function normally, yet she is still unwilling to let go of all the marks of dignity.

Not so I; other than the odd gargle with mouthwash, my usual routines have been put on hold until I get back to wanting bacon again (a sure sign of health in my book).

I mentioned the idea of bacon to Mrs M and she didn’t seem too impressed. She ran off to brush her hair again.