VALENTINE’S DAY (12A, 124 mins) *** Starring Jessica Alba, Kathy Bates, Jessica Biel, Bradley Cooper, Eric Dane, Patrick Dempsey, Hector Elizondo, Jennifer Garner, Topher Grace, Anne Hathaway, Ashton Kutcher, Shirley MacLaine

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Singletons of the world unite. Let us denounce Valentine’s Day as a conspiracy by florists and greetings card companies to prey upon our loneliness by flogging us over-priced red roses and sappy declarations of undying love.

Why should we all feel compelled to bear our souls on February 14, when any other day of the year would do just as well and isn’t nearly as expensive?

“It’s Valentine’s Day. You don’t think, you just do,” chirps one of the sappy, loved-up characters in this sugar-coated tale of romance and heartbreak – an ensemble piece that suggests screenwriter Katherine Fugate recalls Love Actually, set in the sun-baked streets of Los Angeles.

Two hours isn’t long enough to fully develop more than 20 major protagonists and their storylines, and the film runs the risk of being little more than cinematic candy floss.

However, amid the gooey sentiments and shameless wish-fulfilment, there are some big laughs and eye-catching performances from a stellar cast, who appear to be having a ball.

Valentine’s Day is a morass of cloying fairytale romances across the generations that predominantly end with a happy-ever-after or, at the very least, a comeuppance and emotional closure.