A MUM who lost her baby son to a rare genetic disorder has spoken about how she learned to live with her grief.
Lindsey Morgan was preparing to welcome her first baby in June 2014 when her world came crashing down.
“I lost my little boy 10 years ago,” Lindsey, who lives in Pudsey, said.
“I went for a routine 20-week scan and we were told there was quite a serious heart defect.
"We went for further testing and investigations and we were told our little boy had Edwards Syndrome.
“The prognosis for that is one per cent chance of survival.”
Around 13 in 100 babies born alive with Edwards' syndrome will live past their first birthday, according to the NHS.
Lindsey said they were prepared for the worst and when she gave birth, her little boy had sadly passed away.
She said: “He was born at 21 weeks. We named him Jack. He’ll always be part of us and our family.
“There’s so many thoughts and feelings you go through. Sometimes you feel like you’re going crazy. When you’re in the moment you feel like it’s just you. It feels very lonely, even though you’ve got your partner and members of your family, it’s still quite a dark and lonely place.”
It wasn’t until a year after Jack’s death that Lindsey finally reached out for support and therapy.
“Although the hospital were really good, there wasn’t a bereavement midwife in post at that time,” Lindsey said.
“I didn’t really have anyone to turn to. I kind of slipped through the net, I don’t know whether that stalled my grief in a way.”
After researching local groups she came across Sands, a stillbirth and neonatal death charity which supports families through therapy meetings, a free helpline, memory boxes, a football club, and much more.
Over a decade later, Lindsey and her husband have gone on to have two more children.
A lasting tribute to Jack’s life can be found at Rawdon Crematorium's Baby Memorial Garden.
The monthly support meetings are held on the first Thursday of every month, between 7pm and 9pm.
Looking back on those early days, Lindsey said: “My first meeting I just cried because I was just really overwhelmed. I’ve got a lot of valuable support from them and gained lots of new friends. I feel really proud, from where I was 10 years ago and the fact I can give something back. I feel I’ve made a difference.
“It’s just about using the skills we’ve learned doing the befriender training and listening to other people.
“We also try to vary - rather than doing support meetings sat round a table - we offer different ways to support people with their grief. We’ve done family picnics in the park, we did Christmas pottery painting. There’s different ways to express grief.
“I really enjoyed the family picnic. Although it’s focused on loss it’s nice that people were able to bring siblings of the babies that had died.
"There was just a really nice atmosphere, the siblings could talk about the siblings that were in heaven. People do go on to have other children or they might have had that child. It’s not all dark grief. We’re doing something nice and fun whilst also remembering your loss.
“You’ve just got to do it when you’re ready. We’ve had people who had a loss 40-odd years ago and they’ve only just decided to open that grief.
“I’m proud of my little boy, even though he’s not here. I’m pleased to say he’s mine. There’ll always be triggers, certain anniversaries I’m obviously going to find more difficult. It always stays part of you. You learn to live with your grief.”
Anyone who wishes to find out more about baby loss support in Bradford can visit the ‘Bradford Sands’ Facebook page or email bradford@sandsvolunteer.org.uk
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