Pineapples, cucumbers and bananas could lead to romance

I was talking to a fellow shopper when he arrived back clutching the said fruit. “I wouldn’t walk around with that if I were you,” the woman said, laughing.

It turns out that, in the dating world, carrying a cucumber sends a signal to others that a man is well-endowed.

Intrigued, I looked up this so-called cucumber dating etiquette to find it’s true. Apparently it offers a fun and lighthearted way for men to embrace body positivity and confidently signal their interest in meeting others.

My husband swears he wasn’t propositioned between the salad aisle and the tills, although he did take rather a long time on his mission. And he insists he will be more careful in future.

I spend half my life in supermarkets and didn’t know there were so many signs linked to common-or-garden products. It’s a secret language.

Originating in Spain, placing a pineapple upside-down in a shopping trolley then strolling around the wine aisle signals your availability. I’d say anyone who can successfully position a pineapple on its crown in a moving trolley without it repeatedly falling over may be a good catch.

Supermarket dating is no walk in the park. Placing a bunch of bananas in your shopping trolley with their ends pointing up toward the ceiling could indicate you’re single. But having bananas on top of your shopping is a sign that you’re open to being propositioned by a couple looking for a third.

I’ll be hiding mine under the loo roll in future.

Different fruit and veg give different messages. Picture: Pixabay

I can understand those special supermarket dating nights - Adsa ran them in the 1990s - when people looking for love are assigned a singles’ night. There are advantages to meeting someone while shopping: you get to find out their likes and dislikes. No meat - a possible veggie, dog or cat food - animal lover, eco-friendly stuff - he cares for the planet. Meals-for-one? You may have hit the jackpot.

Shopping habits are a good basis on which to start a relationship. In 2011, Asda launched a dating website, AsdaDating.com, to help shoppers find potential partners based on exactly that. It was run in partnership with a dating agency. I can’t find it online now, so it can’t have been hugely successful.

This secret language among the produce aisles is fraught with danger. Without knowing it, my poor, cucumber-clutching husband could have found himself leading a string of inquisitive, would-be suitors, Pied Piper-style around Tesco.

If someone sees another person with an upside-down pineapple and they’re interested, they bump their trolleys together.

But bear in mind that, traditionally, an upside-down pineapple suggests you are into swinging and on the hunt for a new playmate.

It’s a minefield. Even lettuce has a meaning - stick one on top of your shopping if you fancy a casual fling.

On my weekly trip I’m going to be scrutinising people’s trolleys like never before and taking great care over what’s going into mine.

I’ll be warning my shopping companion and friend Betty, 95, to avoid the wine aisle with her blueberries and grapes - I’ve no idea what erotic meaning is linked to those fruits, but there’s bound to be one.

My advice is, if you’ve got any fruit and veg to buy, get it last of all and pay for it quickly, so you’re not walking around the store unconsciously flirting with all and sundry.

Unless you really do want a hot date, then grab those pineapples and bump those trollies.