TODAY is Valentine’s Day, so romance, relationships and such like, are very much the flavour of the week.

There’s no doubt about it, having a great relationship with a significant-other can do wonders for our mental health and sense of general well-being.

However, those flushes of feeling wonderful when we first meet ‘the one’ can cause us to throw logic out of the window. It’s perfectly natural, the emotional part of the mind follows instinct rather than logic, affecting how we act and feel. When we are in the early throws of a relationship, we can become a little detached from reality and see the person through rose-tinted glasses. Once we become invested in a relationship and it naturally progresses, life events will happen, such as having children, changing jobs, moving home etc. Such events may be big milestones that we look forward to, they are also some of the biggest causes of stress. It is also easy for the grind of daily life to take its toll and test even the most solid of relationships.

All relationships take effort, understanding and patience to grow and flourish. All relationships can become strained from time to time. I’ve put a few pointers together for you this week, to explain how to have a mentally healthy relationship.

* Boundaries: Setting your own and respecting your partner’s. If we don’t state boundaries, we can’t expect people to know what they are. Similarly, we need to find out what red-lines our partner may have, that we should not cross. The only way to do this, brings me to my second point.

* Good and open communication is key to a healthy relationship. It helps to clear misunderstandings, solve problems and build trust. When people stop talking to each other about the things which might be bothering them, the issues can just become bigger and more difficult to resolve.

* Encourage each other to have hobbies, friends and interests outside of the relationship. This will enable you both to have fuller lives and help you both to enjoy my next point more.

* Spend quality time together to help strengthen the bond and build intimacy. It is all too easy to allow daily life to over-burden us and take the fun out of a relationship. Make time for a regular ‘date-night’ if you can, where you just make time for each other, remembering all the reasons you got together in the first place.

* Treat each other with respect and dignity. Avoid criticism, blame and insults, especially if something outside the relationship is affecting you, don’t blame your partner.

* Take care of your own physical, mental and emotional well-being. A healthy individual contributes to a healthy relationship.

Of course, not everybody reading this column will have a partner. Days like Valentine’s can sometimes be problematic and reinforce the fact that someone is on their own; perhaps when they prefer not to be. Maybe you were in a relationship this time last year, and this year you aren’t, if so this week may serve as an unhelpful reminder to a previous relationship.

Part of being mentally healthy is being able to form, maintain, and when necessary, end relationships.

Sometimes things just don’t work out, and it is time to move on. This can of course be easier when both people in the relationship have arrived at the same conclusion. Problems can of course arise when one partner wants to end a relationship and the other doesn’t. Or if the relationship has ended on bad terms because one partner has perhaps crossed a certain boundary.

If you are on your own, then remember, Valentine’s Day is about celebrating love, and that includes self-love! Choose activities that resonate with you and enjoy your own company.

Here’s a few ideas:

* Nature Break: Go for a walk in the park, listen to the birds, and soak in the fresh air. Even a short walk can be surprisingly refreshing.

* Digital Detox: Turn off your phone and social media for a few hours. This can help reduce stress and allow you to focus on yourself.

* Dance Party of One: Blast your favourite tunes and let loose! Dancing is a great way to boost your mood and release endorphins.

* Gift Yourself Something Special: Treat yourself to something you’ve been wanting, even if it’s small. It’s a reminder that you deserve nice things.

* Call or Video Chat: Reach out to friends, family, or loved ones. Sharing a conversation can combat loneliness and bring joy.

Anyone can struggle with their mental well-being from time to time. However, if you feel you are in danger of harming yourself or others then please contact your GP, go to A&E, call the Samaritans on 116 123 or text SHOUT to 85258

* Martin Furber is a therapist qualified in various modalities and an Instructor Member of Mental Health First Aid England Email wellbeing@martinfurber.com