‘EXPERTS recommend vacuuming your windows for the ultimate spring glow.’

I suspected an April Fool when I saw this pop into my inbox, almost lost in a deluge of emails packed with spring cleaning tips. But no, it was as serious as they come, so I sat up and read it.

A showroom stylist at Express Bi-Folding Doors has, the message said, ‘pulled together her top five must-follow tips to help windows recover from the winter and make them crystal clear for spring’.

Among her recommendations is using a cloth to loosen dust particles before vacuuming your windows with the bristle attachment.

It’s a mammoth effort for me to run the Hoover across the floors in my home, let alone the windows. But clearly I’m a slob in that department and should probably be ashamed.

As we officially enter spring, Google searches about cleaning are up by 138 per cent and searches for 'clean windows' have risen by 23 per cent.

I hate to confess in a public forum, but the last time I cleaned my windows Tony Blair was Prime Minister.

It’s no crime. I can still see through them. Just.

I’ve never been one for cleaning windows. When I was a student, my housemate and I were bored one afternoon so we cleaned the kitchen window. “What’s happened in here - the kitchen looks different,” said another housemate who came home later. "Have you painted the kitchen?" another asked?

Why we all jump to it with duster, mop and vacuum t this time of year puzzles me.

I know that the sun’s rays are unforgiving in picking out dust and cobwebs - my house is available at a reasonable rate as the Haversham residence if yet another adaptation of Great Expectations is in the pipeline - but do we need to go overboard?

There’s even a National Cleaning Week, from March 26 to April 1. Had I known, maybe I could have mustered up some enthusiasm, but I only found out this week, what a shame.

I did wipe the TV screen a couple of nights ago, but only because Tom Bradby was looking a bit grey around the edges.

And I did remove several fluff-coated pens from beneath our bed - how they got there is a mystery, neither I or my husband write in bed.

But apart from that, spring cleaning can go whistle. The Hoover will not be going anywhere near my windows.

There’s nothing wrong with a bit of dust and grime. Some schools of thought say it’s good for us and that living in a squeaky clean environment doesn’t help us build up natural immunities to stave off allergies.

I don’t know whether that’s true or not - it hasn’t been proved beyond reasonable doubt - but believing it makes me feel better.

That’s the thing about the nation’s obsession with spring cleaning, it makes those of us who have never held a J Cloth feel wracked with guilt. Should we stop what we are doing and get down on our knees and scrub the doorstep like women did back in the day?

I must have received at least 50 emails offering spring cleaning tips, from carpets, to curtains, sofas and washing machines. Line after line about stains, grime and dirt, and how to get rid of it.

One, from the cleaning and laundry specialists Dr Beckmann, offered the following advice: ‘Whether you’re enjoying a delicious spring picnic, playing games outside or nurturing your brand new veg patch, fun outside can come at the cost of your newly clean home.’

That’s it then. Let’s all stay inside. Stay inside and clean some more. Happy Easter.