Q: My grand-daughter is getting so out of control, I'm scared for her safety. She's 14 and lives with my son because her mum left the area to be with her new partner. He does his best but it's not enough. Recently she's been staying out overnight and he's not really sure where she is, or who with, and it's usually without letting him know. I'd appreciate some good advice if you have some.

A: It sounds to me as though your granddaughter is in need of some TLC. Can you put yourself in her shoes for a little while? I would guess she feels her mum has left her, not the area. She's a teenage girl going through teenage girls' stuff with only her dad at home. Does he communicate with her? Does he listen to her? Even if the answers to these questions are yes' I'd say she'd feel the answers were no'. You need to do some detective work and find out where she's going, who with, and most importantly why. I really suggest you include her in this and explain why you are worried about her. It's bound to make matters worse if she feels you have been going behind her back. Talk to her, without getting into an argument or sounding judgmental about her behaviour. If you can keep her talking to you over time, she may just open up and start to confide her feelings to you. She needs a strong female role-model to keep nurturing her in her mother's absence, and as her grandma I'd say you were ideally placed for the job! Don't forget though, she's still a child (despite what she may think), and she's very vulnerable. There are plenty of people out there who prey on girls just like your grand-daughter, and her disappearances should not be taken lightly. If you do think she is in danger it is your responsibility to protect her. You should consider reporting anything worrying to the relevant authorities.

Q: I've been seeing a really nice man I met at New Year. A mutual friend has told me he used to use drugs, and although this hasn't put me off it's certainly made me a bit more wary of him. I don't know whether this spells trouble ahead and maybe I should get out now. What would you do?

A: I wonder what you have done in your past that might lead people to judge you in the same way! There are two questions I'd like you to ask yourself; why has your mutual friend brought this to your attention, and what difference does it really make? You've described your bloke as really nice' so have a think about why he's so nice. We are only the people we are because of life experiences that have brought us to this point in our lives. Whatever he has been through must have been difficult, and must have contributed to him being the person he is now. And that person is someone you're rather happy with. Just a note of caution I would like you to consider though - if he has been an injecting drug user you need to consider the potential for him to be infected with blood-borne viruses such as hepatitis. You really do need to know more about his past. Talk to him, put your mind at rest, and keep your health safe, regardless!