WE all remember our first crush: the butterflies in your stomach and flushed face whenever they were nearby. New relationships are exciting, but for young people navigating a relationship can also be confusing. Especially if they really like someone but they do things they’re not comfortable with.
Relationships can change and it can be hard for them to know when things are starting to go wrong. Hopefully, your child is comfortable speaking to you about relationships, but it can be difficult for parents and carers to know how to support young people when a relationship has become unhealthy. When talking with children about what makes a healthy relationship, discuss the importance of good communication, mutual respect, trust, honesty, equality and ask if they have the confidence to be themselves in the relationship or are trying to be someone they don’t want to be. Remind them that everyone has the right to be respected in relationships, and consent is a big part of that. It’s important for children to understand consent so they don’t feel pressured into doing something sexual, dangerous, or violent. This kind of behaviour in a relationship could mean a young person is being exploited or abused.
Young people can feel pressured to have sex because they’ve heard their peers are doing it. They’re bombarded by social media and TV shows discussing sex, but it’s vital to remind them that everyone is different, and they shouldn’t do it unless they want to, they feel ready and importantly, they’re aged 16 or over.
When talking to your child about sex and relationships, reassure them that they can talk to you if anything has happened that’s upset them, and that it’s never their fault if it has. Remind them that if something doesn’t feel right or they get a sick feeling in their stomach, that could be a sign something is wrong. Signs that a child or young person is in an unhealthy relationships include becoming isolated and spending little time with family or friends, controlling behaviour, such as being told what to wear, needing to let the person know their whereabouts or having their social media accounts monitored. Other controlling behaviour includes feeling pressured to do things they’re uncomfortable with, being prevented from going to school or feeling reluctant to, persistent changes in mood or behaviour, and being bullied or experiencing sexual bullying, online, in private or in front of others at home or school.
Growing up is hard, but with the right support it can be made easier and safer. Our NSPCC helpline is 0808 800 5000 or email help@nspcc.org.uk
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