Q: Dear Kate, I've been happily married for 15 years, have three great kids, and feel I've done well for myself. The problem is that I feel trapped in my job; we need two incomes to pay the bills and have a reasonable lifestyle, but I really want to be at home with my kids while they're still an age where they need me. Do you think it's unreasonable of me to ask more of my husband?

A: I do think it's unreasonable. I also think you sound rather spoilt. Lots of people contact me feeling trapped at home with their children, and desperate to get back into work. Maybe you should take a step back and have a long hard look at your situation, then decide what your priorities are. Most of us have to juggle our family life with securing a decent quality of life, and this involves compromising. It doesn't sound like you want to do that any more. But why should your husband take more on too? Surely he deserves a decent quality of life and time with his children. Have you considered cutting your working hours down? Many employers encourage flexible working arrangements, including shorter hours or working from home. It will involve making some sacrifices in your lifestyle, but if you're all going to be happy I believe they're sacrifices worth making.

Q: Dear Kate, my boyfriend has been getting rather self-conscious of his mobile phone - so much so that I started to get suspicious that something was going on. When he was in the shower this morning I looked at his text messages; they couldn't have been more damning. I don't know what to do, I'm so angry. How do I admit I've been through his phone and deal with the fact he's been texting another woman?

A: First things first; it is not you who is in the wrong here. He has been behaving in a way that has lead you to feel insecure and worried enough to do something I hope you would not ordinarily do. I would suggest that the first thing you do is own up and apologise for going through his phone. Tell him you know you shouldn't have done it, but you've been so worried you didn't know what else to do. If he has any decency he won't pursue that side of things. The next step is working out where things have gone wrong. You don't seem too clear as to what your suspicions are. Has he been seeing this woman? The reason I ask is because I know some people see texting as a harmless form of flirting, and have no intention of following through on their actions. Others view it as an unacceptable infidelity that cannot be forgiven. I suggest you find out how far things have gone and where you stand with your own views. If things have gone too far, then I hope you are able to be strong. If he has not been seeing her then you need to address what is missing from your relationship - something has lead to him seeking thrills in this way. Ultimately you should be giving great thought to whether you want to be with this man, and whether he is worth the time and effort it will take to work this out.