Since becoming a mum I seem to spend an increasing amount of time in our local supermarket.

Now, I do like our supermarket. I'm on first-name terms with most of the staff and I'm always assured a friendly smile and a gentle nudge in the direction of "Buy one Get One Free" offers, but just recently my once-weekly Big Shop has taken an ugly, unexpected turn.

Our supermarket has been invaded by an army of salespeople desperate to sell me a mobile phone or help me reduce my electricity bills. Why? Surely If I wanted to change my electricity company I would contact them in my own time, ditto my mobile phone - why on earth would if I feel an overwhelming urge to think about such things in the bread/preserves aisle?

In truth I do feel sorry for them. As they stand there watching me push my wonky trolley towards them they realise that they have but three seconds to get their message across before I'm out of range, gone forever.

Like clockwork the smile goes on (nothing too manic but something to make them look friendly and approachable) and they advance towards me with a sweating leaflet they've been holding for the last hour.

So what can I do? It's their job and I never have or ever would be rude to them, but then I'm in the middle of MY job, namely re-stocking on jam and the like that Meg has thoughtfully put in the DVD player.

So after months spent darting behind cereal boxes I have developed a foolproof way to avoid being stopped.

My daughter Megan (two-and-a-half going on 20) has a toy monkey that she takes everywhere with her and I've found that by removing him for just a minute I can guarantee tears in a few seconds. Now, think about it - what sane salesperson would dare approach a mum in charge of a toddler at full tantrum status?

I can often get by with just a roll of the eyes and a "Well, what can you do?" expression. Is it sneaky? Oh Yes. Cruel? Not for one minute. Megan gets her tea on time, I don't end up with a phone I can neither use nor understand and the poor salesperson doesn't have to waste time on someone who clearly isn't interested. Brilliant eh?

This works most of the time unless you get a super-keen salesperson lying in wait "commando" style at the bottom of the aisle.

The style here is much the same as before although perhaps with a Mission Impossible roll to begin with. You take the leaflet being offered, stuff it in your trolley/bag/bra (which ever takes your fancy) and find it months later stuck to a Werther's Original you've had in your pocket since the year dot, so what's the point?

One thing at once is my motto and it will continue to be - unless of course it's chucking it down with rain and I want to delay my journey outside. They can't get rid of me then! Funny world, innit?