THIS week I should have been winding through hairpin bends of the Austrian Alps, gazing at gorgeous views and taking in lungfuls of pure mountain air.
But of course the trip, which I booked with wild optimism last year, was cancelled and instead of following the family Von Trapp trail I ended up watching the inevitable bank holiday repeat of The Sound of Music.
Taking an overseas holiday feels like a thing of the past. After the hassle of re-booking two trips, I doubt I’ll be heading abroad this year. Which is fine, as there are plenty of fabulous places in the UK to visit...just ask any D-list celebrity.
Like co-hosting The One Show and ghost writing a children’s book, fronting a travel series is something pretty much anyone with an agent - retired gymnasts, reality TV nobodies, ageing footballers, boy band has-beens, Masterchef runner-ups - is having a stab at.
And because it’s all about the staycation now, most of these TV travelogues have ‘Great British’ (insert celeb presenter’s name first) in the title, followed by words like Adventure, Puddings, Pies, Hills, Hotels...Tea Shops, Towpaths, Tin Mine Museums, ...
Instead of actually going to these places, we can watch the likes of Julia Bradbury, Joey Essex and Bradley Walsh and son explore them for us. The problem is that there are too many of these programmes and after you’ve seen one or two you’ve kind of seen them all. It takes good presenting skills, a spirit of adventure, well-researched knowledge, an open mind, a sense of humour, humility and bravery to make a decent travel show. You basically have to be Michael Palin to pull it off properly.
Joanna Lumley generally does it well too, but even she’s fallen victim to the seemingly lazy research behind every travel show to visit Yorkshire. Joanna has travelled the length and breadth of India and Japan, the Silk Road and the Trans-Siberian Railway, but in Yorkshire - where she spent an episode of her Travels in My Own Land series - she went where every other travel presenter goes: Ribblehead Viaduct on the Settle Carlisle railway: Tick. Malham Cove: Tick. Whitby: Tick.
Susan Calman’s Grand Days Out also ticked off Yorkshire...Malham Cove and Whitby along with, yep, Bronte Country, where the comic mimed to Wuthering Heights on a wiley, windy moor. Natch.
In their series Remarkable Places to Eat, Bake-Off winner Nadiya Hussain and Fred Sirieix, the French chef who does the meet and greet on First Dates, found themselves marvelling at, you guessed it, Malham Cove. They ate Whitby crab and went to Bettys in Harrogate - another tick on the Yorkshire map . There’s more to travel presenting than scoffing Fat Rascals. Just ask Michael Palin.
There’s more Whitby (probably Malham Cove too) in comic Rosie Jones’ new series Trip Hazard: My Great British Adventure.
Of course it’s great that our beautiful county is showcased in prime-time telly, fronted by perfectly likeable famous folk, but Yorkshire is so much more than Wensleydale cheese, Whitby Goths and Mother Shipton’s Cave.
* THREE eps in to Line of Duty, and is it all a bit Emperor’s New Clothes? As a standalone drama it doesn’t really work - you’d need to have seen every series so far to really follow it - and the main characters have become so dour. Lots of hard looks and furrowed brows, but none of the gallows humour and banter of real police squads. And do cops really talk in acronyms all the time? Surely a CHIS would just be called a grass. AC-12 and OCG? It’s DULL.
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