Heartbreaking video shows reality of Covid-19 care home visiting ban

At the start of the clip Doreen Morris, 85, can be seen with a big smile on her face after spotting her daughter, Tracy Gothard, 51, at the window of her nursing home.

The great great gran then asks Tracy to "come in" and motions with her hands, to which her daughter replies, "I can't come in, we're not allowed yet because of that nasty bug".

Tracy asks her mum to "blow her a kiss" but the pensioner instead breaks down in tears.

Mum-of-two Tracy described the moment as "heartbreaking" and said she has released the video in order to try and change the "unhealthy "rules around care home visits.

She added: "When my mum comes out she just wants to hug me and put her arms around me, and I want to do the same.

"Because of her dementia she doesn't understand why we can't, which is what you can see in the video - she wants me to go inside.

"It's heartbreaking to see her react like that, I feel exactly the same as her as well, I want to go in and give her a cuddle."

Tracy went on: "My mum had a life before all this, she would go out all the time, she would dance, see family and have a good time, now all that is gone.

"She's like a prisoner in her own home."

Tracy captured the clip outside Bierley Court Care Home in Bradford, on October 29.

She said she "loves" the home itself and the staff there but that there is a "problem with the system".

Tracy added: "I want to be able to go in to my mum's home and show her that I haven't forgotten about her, that I still love her."

Her idea is to have at least one family member tested for the virus, who would then be permitted entry to the home to see their loved one.

Tracy said: "I think that is the best way around this, we need to start seeing our elderly people again one way or another.

"If workers at these care homes can have a test then enter then I don't see why I can't too.

"I understand safety is paramount but we need to strike a balance at the same time.

"My mum is deteriorating quickly, she's very depressed and anxious over what's going on, although she doesn't fully understand why."

Tracy said she supports the Rights for Residents campaign, which is seeking to permit care home residents visits with their families.

She added that she initially shot the video in order to send to family so they could see Doreen, but that she decided to share it after seeing her mum's response.

The window meeting between Tracy and Doreen, who has been at the home two years, was their first one since August.

Tracy, who works in customer service for Yorkshire Water, said pre-Covid she would visit her mum, whose husband Danny died 10 years ago, every day.

Retired cleaner Doreen, diagnosed with dementia around 12 years ago, has seven grandchildren,18 great grandchildren and 6 great great grandchildren.

Tracy said: "She's such a fun-loving person, she loves to get up and have a dance, she's a little party animal really.

"She loves getting out and about and enjoying herself."

After the first lockdown they were allowed garden visits but since August she has only been able to see Doreen from the car park of the care home and in video calls.

Tracy said: "We now face another lockdown so who knows when we will be able to see each other properly again.

"Something needs to change."

The care company that runs Bierley Court, called Handsale, have issued a statement this morning (Fri).

A spokesman said: "We at Handsale sympathise with the loved ones of all our residents during these unprecedented times.

"There is no doubt as to the mental health benefits that visiting has and we support those that had tried to petition local leaders to see these benefits after the first national lockdown.

"As responsible adult social care providers, we have abided by local and national guidance and laws, which were designed to keep people safe.

"However, in this case, it has also led to families not being able to see each other in a manner they wished.

"Unfortunately, the country now finds itself in the midst of a second wave and we would implore the entire general public to be sensible and to follow government guidance.

"Your actions will have a direct impact in allowing loved ones such as Tracy & Doreen to see each other again sooner in a safe and meaningful way."

Bradford Council today said it is sending new guidance to care homes across the district to begin to help support them to enable close family and friends to safely visit their residents.

It follows an announcement from the Government that visits can resume within the period of national restrictions as long staff and residents can be protected from the risk of infections.

The Council has created new guidance for outside visiting with care home managers ahead of the announcement.

They are also planning on sending out guidance on visiting inside care homes within the next few days.

The guidance will offer advice on how care homes can safely carry out alternative forms of visit such as the creation of visiting pods, garden visiting, meetings through windows or Perspex barriers and drive through visits.

Although visiting a care home had previously been limited to exceptional circumstances, it is hoped the new guidance being sent out today will mean care home residents will get the opportunity to meet loved ones more often – initially in outdoor locations.

Every care home is different in terms of its facilities, landscape and the care it offers and these additional visiting options will only take place if appropriate risk assessments are carried out to ensure they keep all residents safe.

This also means it is up to each care home to decide what they can offer friends and family and it may take some time to install the infrastructure and systems they need to be able to offer the visits safely.

Councillor Sarah Ferriby, Portfolio Holder for Healthy People and Places, said: “One of the harshest features of the restrictions has been how families have not been able to visit their loved ones in care homes.  The new Government guidance today attempts to address some of these concerns but I know that many will feel it doesn’t go far enough. 

“The first wave of Covid hit care homes badly and too many of our elderly in this country died.  The first priority therefore has to remain the prevention of infections in care homes. At the same time we all know that being able to offer more visits will help improve everyone’s mental health and wellbeing.

“That’s why we have been working hard with care homes recently to look at how they can be carried out safely. Now the Government policy has been updated, we can now start to put these into practice.”

“There are still things the Government need to clarify, but being able to have these visits will make a big difference and help us all better cope with the challenging times we find ourselves in.”