It was a night very much like this one, that Monday evening at the Dog and Gun in Oxenhope.
The pub's weekly quiz night was in full swing. The pub is up on the moors, where the wind whistles harshly whatever the season. But it wasn't a wind that caused four plates to fall off the wall at the same time, nor was it a wind that caused a brass bell to fly across the pub and hit the wall.
Landlord Michael Roper takes up the tale: "There are lots of stories about an old woman who I've heard referred to as both Lucy and Sarah. She was a pig farmer who used to spend all her time in here. One night she got run over by a horse and cart just outside of here and they brought her into the pub, where she died. Older customers say they have seen the ghost of a woman dressed in black moving between the ladies' toilets and the stairs."
Could it be the spirit of the unfortunate pig farmer responsible for the telekinetic terrors in the Dog and Gun that night? Michael's wife Kathryn thinks so. She said: "We had just had a new bar installed and had moved some of the ornaments around, including the plates, for a bit of a change. I have heard that spirits hate change so it is possible that what has happened could be related to that."
Puns about spirits are odious and should remain at rest, but it is a fact that many restless phantoms do take to haunting the hostelries they patronised in life.
Some years ago, Louis and Angela Walton became, with their three children, mine hosts at the Hare and Hounds, Wibsey. The following three months saw a most sobering string of ectoplasmic experiences, including doors slamming, the sound of strange voices and the baffling immolation of a porcelain angel figurine.
As Louis told this very newspaper: "We'd laughed off the other incidents but the fire could have been life threatening. Our son Jason had just gone upstairs to get some cushions for a friend who was staying the night. He just screamed when he saw the flames and ran into our room."
Even the firefighters who attended could not understand how the porcelain figure had caught fire.
Lest you may think that those who claim to have seen these victual visions have been availing themselves of the various hostelries' wares to excess, it should be pointed out that these pub phantoms are only a small selection of spirits documented in Andy Owens's new book, Haunted Bradford (out now priced £9.99 from Tempus Publishing).
The author says: "Ghosts and hauntings, spirits and poltergeists, have been reported from every corner of the world, dating from the dawn of civilisation right up to the present day."
If these apparently real-life reports of spookery and phantom-foolery right here in Bradford have chilled your very marrow on this Halloween, then just remember: there are no such things as ghosts.
Or are there? As Andy Owens says: "Ghosts are seen by thousands of people each year, implying that such experiences are much more common than is generally accepted. Anyone, it seems, is susceptible to such an encounter. Could you be the next?"
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