A sex offender offered to show red-faced judges his penis in court to prove he could not be guilty.
Sukhpal Singh Sidhu, 45, is serving an eight-year stretch for abusing a 15-year-old schoolgirl.
But the cornershop keeper claimed he could not be guilty because he is impotent.
He told appeal judge, Sir Brian Leveson, that a circumcision operation had left him with a scarred penis and a constant droop.
“The fact that I am unable to have sex should be an important factor.
“Don’t you want to examine my scars?” he asked the surprised judge.
But, politely turning down the offer, Sir Brian said: “Absolutely not. That’s not a proper approach or line of inquiry for this court.”
The court heard Sidhu, of Town Street, Pudsey, was convicted of four sex offences in August 2015.
He was jailed at Manchester Crown Court for three counts of sexual activity with a child and inciting a child to engage in sexual activity.
But, representing himself at the Court of Appeal, in London, he argued that he had been wrongly convicted.
A circumcision in 2003 had rendered him impotent, he told Sir Brian, Mr Justice Jeremy Baker and Mr Justice Martin Spencer.
His wife had left him and his life had gone “downhill”, he added.
He said he was willing to show the judges his penis and to have it tested by experts.
In his judgment, Mr Justice Spencer said: “Although he asked us to view the scars which remain, we declined to do so.”
Sidhu had been accused of making contact with the girl online and by telephone.
But he denied that they had engaged in any sexual activity in his car.
The girl had blackmailed him, demanding money to pay her phone bill, he claimed.
The judges, however, ruled Sidhu’s appeal was hopeless and threw it out of court.
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