A few years ago I took part in an exchange trip to China. I can't describe every little detail about the place but take it from me, it is utterly bizarre. People ride around on bikes accompanied by rare and exotic birds, they eat snakes from jars; while their road system is very much like the blind leading the stupid.

I did find some solace, however, in the young man I was staying with as he seemed to be the most unfortunate individual in the entire human race. In the ten days I was staying with him he suffered the following ill fate.

He got the squits - six times, woke up in the middle of the night with a platoon of mosquitoes biting his face, had his cat run over, stood in dog poo, broke his glasses, fell up an escalator, was stung three times by a variety of flying insects, dropped and stood on his electronic translator, single-handedly lost his form group sports day and, finally, had to share a bed with his grandmother (I was occupying the spare room). I really did feel truly sorry for him.

My trip to China is one that I will remember for the rest of my life. The sights, the smells, the obscurity. These are things that can only be experienced through the experience. The written word does it no justice. Sadly though, the written word may be the last we get to see of China or indeed other far-flung corners of the earth. Why? Two words, "Global" and "Warming".

I shall make it clear now that I think global warming is a tax-sucking, penny-pinching, guilt-inducing, power-boosting load of codswallop. The global warming phenomenon is one that has been created out of a few wayward figures and a small selection of politicians looking to secure the vote of the beards.

To say that the planet is getting hotter is in fact reciting common sense. Natural evolution follows a cycle, one which heats the planet just before it drops it straight into an ice age. It therefore seems a trifle stupid to suggest that our cars, holidays, fridges, deodorant cans and breath are in fact killing our own existence.

Another point I would like to make is this. We are told that when we take a flight from the UK to China we are dumping 30 tonnes of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. But answer this: what exactly do 30 tonnes of carbon dioxide look like? And do they actually do any damage? If the trees feast on the whole lot then we have equilibrium and thus no problem.

The government and associated experts are very vague on what information we are given yet are very clear on the taxes we will face. They seem to fluff over the hyper-exaggerated global surface temperature predictions and explicitly inform us that we will face a £20 tax increase. To me this doesn't provide any grounding for saving the world. Just further removing the incentives to achieve, become successful and enjoy culture and travel.

The real irony is that it matters not in the slightest what method of prevention, taxes or laws the government conjures up. At the end of the day we are all guests in Hotel Mother Nature. At the end of the day she will decide the way our planet heads.