Q I started a new job two months ago and have met a really nice group of people there. The job is enjoyable, but the best part about it is getting to spend time with a man I have to work closely with. The problem is that I only got married six months ago and my feelings for this man are making me wonder if I've made a mistake; I think I'm falling for him. What am I going to do?

A It's perfectly understandable that you are questioning your decision to get married considering what you have told me in your letter. I think you need to thoroughly examine the feelings you have for this new workmate at the same time though. It sounds to me that you have found yourself in a great job, you are lucky enough to like everyone you are working with, but it is still early days and you should be cautious. Workplace romances can be complicated and messy. They involve deceit and affect people's ability to do their job properly. If you act on your feelings then things at work are going to become uncomfortable - whether your advances are encouraged or rejected. And what about your new husband in all this? It would be unrealistic to think that just because there's a ring on your finger you are never going to be attracted to anyone else ever again. We meet people throughout our lives who wake up feelings within us, but your marriage is never going to work if you are not strong enough to resist those feelings. This could be a simple crush and you should really be sure of your feelings for your husband before you consider making any moves on this man.

Q My husband is not being honest with me and I'm worried that our relationship won't survive his lies. There have been a few times now his lies have tripped him up, but I can't get to the bottom of what is going on. I think he might be having problems with his business or money trouble of some sort - he just keeps saying everything's all right and I shouldn't worry, but I can't help it.

A I would be worried too! Being kept in the dark doesn't help with the feelings of anxiety you must be experiencing with all this. Do you think he is lying to protect you from whatever it is that is going on? Often people think that keeping secrets is better for those they love, that what they don't know won't harm them. You need to explain to him that you are there for him, regardless of what is troubling him. Tell him that you will help him to resolve any problems he's having, and he can rely on your love and support. But be prepared, because you may hear things you don't like. Let him know how worried you are, and that his not sharing things is making you become suspicious, anxious, and insecure. Be really clear that you will continue to worry until he is honest with you, and it is the only way you feel your relationship can stay on track.