There's absolutely nothing worse in the entire world than having this old song you really like but no-one else in your immediate circle feels that strongly about and then suddenly some stupid advertisement uses it as a jingle and it's never off the telly and suddenly everyone, even your gran and the Big Issue seller on the corner are whistling it and you seethe with righteous anger and mutter under your breath: "But that's my favourite song! They will all pay for this." Or maybe it's just me.

It's happened at least twice recently, probably three or four times if I sit down in a darkened room long enough for the red mist to clear and think about it properly.

Most recently was Marks & Spencer totally ruining the Small Faces' Itchycoo Park for one of their adverts featuring a load of freakishly tall and thin models swanning about with Twiggy in a park (see? They're even so brutishly literal about it! "Let's film the advert in a park." Duh) just to flog some clothes. And while we're at it, wasn't it Marks & Sparks who claimed to be designing clothes for "real women" a few years ago? Since when did Erin O'Connor's 9ft-tall, two-stone frame ever pass for average?

The time before that was the actual worst, though. I can't even remember what the advertisement was for now, because every time it came on I curled up in a foetal ball on the carpet, gnawing my fists into raw stumps and crying salty tears of blood. It might have been for mobile phones, but it doesn't really matter now because they had the brass neck to nick The Only Ones' Another Girl, Another Planet. No, no, a thousand times no. Peter Perrett's punk paean to the agony and ecstasy of hard drug abuse (or, depending on your point of view, a catchy tune about going into space) reduced to flogging mobile phones? Please.

A couple of weeks ago I watched a documentary on the Carpenters, in which Richard Carpenter mentioned that their hit song We've Only Just Begun started life as an ad jingle. Him and his sister Karen were watching telly one night when an advert for a bank came on with this tune as the soundtrack. He immediately got on to his producer and demanded that he find this tune and buy up the rights. One of the biggest easy listening records of the Seventies had actually been bashed out as a piece of original backing music for a mortgage service.

This first struck me as incredible and then as immensely sensible. No advertisements should be allowed to use existing - especially classic - pop and rock music to flog material goods. I don't care how much it reduces the artists' income by - they should have a bit more credibility.

Pop music should be linked to happy memories such as throwing up in a bucket, having your first kiss, going on holiday, attending your first festival. It shouldn't conjure up images of Brian's Pottery Shed - just off the M62 near Oldham.

Conversely, if all adverts used original music there would be more outlets for up-and-coming bands and songwriters, and if stuff was good enough it would eventually make the charts (Levi's used to do this a few years ago. Remember that Spaceman song with the guy who used to be in the Sand Kings? Great ad jingle. Terrible full-length tune).

In fact, I might launch a proper campaign. Keep Music Off Ads. We could have membership cards, a petition, maybe even book a party political broadcast. Anyone got any ideas for a jingle..?