Christmas is coming. It is a time of families and friends, of giving and sharing, of joyfulness and celebration.
Here we are in Moyamba, isolated in the middle of the African jungle, thousands of miles from home, separated from our loved ones, and inevitably we all have one thing on our minds: alcohol.
The prohibition of the Norwegian camp may be great for our minds and our bodies. But it does get a bit dull, and a sign of how desperate things are getting is that we are struggling to recall what beer tastes like. The only alcohol we have had for the last month has been the hand gel that we use in our repetitive daily rituals.
The British army forward operating base (FOB) is still at the disused stadium in town and the hospitable young captain kindly invites Chris and myself round for a traditional Christmas dinner. They will be on 24-hour stand down and for the first time in months allowed (at the captain’s discretion) to buy alcohol.
The Brigadier is threatening to do a helicopter visit of all the FOBs on Christmas day, but this will involve half the crew of HMS Argos remaining on standby in case something bad happens, and so there is mutiny in the air. Plans are afoot to change the name by deed poll from Argos to Bounty.
I mention our army invitation to the Norwegian camp commander, who immediately rises to the national challenge and offers to have a 24-hour stand down at our camp with more alcohol than the army.
I don't know how much alcohol the army will have (there are only six of them left now), but I have no doubt that in this escalating alcohol race of mutually assured drunkenness, the Norwegians will win.
Fortunately, a solution emerges. The Norwegians celebrate on Christmas eve (Yule) and the British on Christmas day. Brilliant. Run the two 24-hour stand downs sequentially and we have 48 hours of drinking. Although work might just get in the way a bit. I will be resident on call on Christmas eve so may end up missing the first alcohol day through abstinence and the second through fatigue.
ACF, one of the local NGOs is thinking of having a Christmas party. This suggestion generates much excitement in the camp, but not due to the anticipation of great company and food. ACF have been in Moyamba for a number of years and importantly have a satellite dish and very good internet. I suspect they will not be overly impressed when we all turn up with our laptops at the ready and sit around in silence catching up on Facebook.
Meanwhile, the Norwegians have pushed their Viking boat out with the Christmas decoration(s) and we have decided that our surgical boot drying trees look particularly seasonal for festive celebrations!
MORE BLOG POSTS FROM PROFESSOR JOHN WRIGHT
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