My bus journey home from Bradford is enlivened every evening by the presence of a pair of chaps I have taken to calling – in my head – The Lone Gunmen, after the wacky conspiracy theorists from the old X-Files TV show.

The Lone Gunmen in the TV show were named after the widely-disputed (among conspiracy theorists) claim that President Kennedy was assassinated by a, well, a lone gunman. Those “in the know” (winks, taps side of nose) say there must have been two shooters at least.

I call my bus buddies The Lone Gunmen because their conversations each evening – carried out at high volume across the aisle as each one takes a seat to himself – invariably involve some kind of conspiracy, or urban myth, or proclamation about something or other.

I’m not even sure that The Lone Gunmen actually know each other apart from the time they spend on the bus journey. They appear to meet up at the Interchange, board the bus together, then get off maybe three miles apart.

Don’t think I’m eavesdropping on them, by the way – it’s impossible to avoid their conversations, conducted as they are at such volume. Very often the entire bus will fall silent as they obliviously bat a topic at each other across the aisle.

Sometimes they talk about UFOs. Sometimes about technology. History figures quite a lot. There was a rather uncomfortable episode this week when a third man – let’s call him The Third Man – joined in their debate about the dropping of the atomic bombs on Japan at the end of the Second World War.

The Third Man suggested that the war was effectively over by that point, and the bomb was less to bring Japan to its knees than it was a show of military might to Russia.

I’m not sure The Lone Gunmen really appreciated The Third Man’s input. Possibly they suspected him of not only being The Third Man, but perhaps a Fifth Columnist.

One of the most interesting conversations they had recently was about the internet. Boy, did they take apart the entire world-wide-web and put it back together, right there on the bus. I’m not sure how much of it was technically sound, but it was rivetting.

In case anyone thinks I’m taking the Michael somewhat, be rest assured, I’m not. The Lone Gunmen are vastly entertaining, and I look forward to their conversations every night. If they’re reading this – and I suppose I’ll know about that when I get on the bus this evening – then I hope they’ll realise that no offence is meant.

Commuting by bus is a pretty dull affair, and the presence of The Lone Gunmen rounds my day off perfectly.

So here’s to The Lone Gunmen. Every bus should have a pair.